Saturday, 3 October 2009

Mother and Toddlers-A Brave New World

Yesterday we went to our new Mother and Toddlers group, at Ellington School.

Now, I hate going to M+Ts, mainly as I've had some bad experiences in the past with them. They kind of remind me of school- and I'm the new girl, who apparently doesn't fit in with the little cliques that have been established prior to my joining up.

Take the last one Chrissy and I went to.

I wont name the place, but if you live in Maidenhead and want to know, drop me a line!

The first time I went, I was joined by one of my sister in laws, who had taken her son and my other nephew to the group- but they're now at secondary school, so it was a while back. However, she knew a couple of the mums so I was included in conversations due to this casual acquaintance.I enjoyed it, and so did Chrissy, as there were loads of kids to run around with.

Fast forward to a week later. 

We went again on the same day, at the same time. But there was 4 other children, all but one of whom were older then Chrissy.

The mum's sat down with coffees, and completely ignored me, so I took the intiative and sat with them, tryig to join in with the conversation.
At which point said Mum's got up and walked to another table. How rude is that? I had to run to the ladies and check I'd put my deodorant on that morning, and have a look to make sure I didn't have lippy on my teeth.

Luckily, the other child who was of similar age to mine had his Dad with him-who was also singled out and ignored by the cliquey Mums.

Then came the really bad bit.

One of the girls had taken up residence on a large wooden toy car, that was meant to seat 4, and was also meant to be shared. However this little darling had decided that as she was the biggest, she had complete ownership.
   So whenever Chrissy went over to have a look and-shock- touch the car, this child, who was twice the size of mine decided to shout at her. Chrissy preserved the whole two hours we were at the hall, but this child would not budge. Nor would her Mum tell her off.

Finally, the girl screamed in Chrissy's face and made her cry-to which her Mum just laughed and said "oh, kids will be kids".

I thought my Chrissy would give up, as she was really upset. But no, she went straight back over to the car and the child. And this time when she screamed at Chrissy, my daughter took one look at me, one look at the girl, and slapped her round the head. She must have given her quite a clang as the girl was crying quite badly.

Now her Mum wanted to intervene, and had a right go at me. I pointed out how she was happy to let her child bully mine for two hours, and told her the same as she'd told me-" kids will be kids".

I didn't think it was such a great idea to go back after that!

So it was with trepidation that the two of us crossed the road to the new M+T group.  

I had resolved that if it was crap, we'd come home, no matter what time it was.

But it was great! The Mum's were friendly, and so were the staff. Chrissy impressed everyone with her almost David Attenborough sized knowledge of animals and what sounds they make. Another great thing was the other Mum's had all had premature babies at one point or another, so we all had something in common. I've been invited to join up with a Mum's panel that meets up to discuss ideas with the local council and health authority on improving facilities for families in the area.

Best of all though? And I feel this deserves a hearty drum roll.....

I got a half hour massage and pamper. For free! And they do it every Friday.

We will definately be going again!

Ellington (non-scary) M+T group, I salute you.

I have now lost my fear and belief that all groups end up making you feel you're back in the school canteen at lunchtime with non-fashionable shoes on!

Next week, Rhyme time at the Library. Wish me luck! 


  1. 'Go Chrissy, go Chrissy!' I am all against violence, but it felt so good reading that your little girl stood up for herself.

  2. OMG! I thought it was bad enough, when they ignored you!

    Good for Chrissy, whacking that kid.

    So pleased you found a nice M + T in the end.


  3. And we found a second nice one today too- there was about 25 other kids and mums so Chrissy and Edward (whose cold is better so was allowed to come with us) weren't bored silly. Although no pamper though!
    And well, I am also anti violence but some times if the time calls for it then theres not much you can say. That and I gave Chrissy a large bar of chocolate after we got home and the biggest hug ever! Its good to know she won't be bullied!


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