The absolutely lovely Carly at Wives and Daughters is currently holding a competition to win a great VIP day out, courtesy of The Ideal Home Expedition, and never one to look a gift horse in the mouth, here is my entry.
The theme is to list ten things that you didn't expect from parenting. Great topic which I think is usually kept hush hush from
poor unknowing glowing first time mothers!
NUMBER ONE: TV TIMES
I didn't expect to have no knowledge of must see television or news events, but instead when out I'd only be able to discuss, with enthusiasm, the latest new character/programme/presenter on CBeebies. And draw blank looks from the childless friends!
NUMBER TWO: HARD DAYS NIGHT
I did not think that on the very rare nights off from the children that rather than wanting to go clubbing, and drinking wine before falling into a cab at 3am, that I would rather go in the bath, and drink hot chocolate, before falling into bed at 8pm. Terrible!
NUMBER THREE: BAD HAIR....LIFE
I did not realise that expensive shampoo was no match for resilient orange baby food. Ditto washing powder and white clothing.
NUMBER FOUR: LETS (NOT) TALK ABOUT SEX. OR BABIES
I do not know how anyone manages to conceive after their first baby. I had no life afterwards, let alone a sex life *shudders. (Hands up everyone who has heard or said the words "quick the babies asleep, get em off" whilst half concentrating on what you're doing and half listening out for the baby. Thought so).
I did not think that illness and the resulting baby medicines would create "that" in a nappy. And if you are a parent, you'll know exactly what the "that" is I'm referring to. You'll also know the smell comes from hell itself. If you're not a parent, all I'm saying is green, liquid and worse than any smell ever, you'll think something crawled up there and died overnight before landing in their nappy in the morning.
NUMBER SIX: MY NAME IS CLAIRE, AND I AM A NEUROTIC MOTHER.
I certainly had no idea that I could be neurotic. Yes, every tiny cough, splutter and sneeze literally brings about chest tightening, gut wrenching panic. It was worse with Littler cos of his Lung disease too.
NUMBER SEVEN: TINY SMALL
NUMBER EIGHT: MILES OF SMILES
I hate to induce sick bucket grabbing, but I honestly didn't know that a first smile could make me want to cry bucketloads with happiness.
Ed the Littler's did, as there were times we didn't think he would reach an age when he would smile.
NUMBER NINE: "MUMMY, WHY IS THAT WOMAN SINGING IN THE SHOP?"
NUMBER TEN: KISS WITH A DRIBBLE IS BETTER THAN NONE
I never thought that a kiss, including teeth and/or half a cup of dribble could mean such a lot. And don't even get me started on when they learn to say "I love you Mummy".
So, there you go! There are my ten, what are yours?