My Word of 2010

Yes, there seem to be lots of tags and memes going about the place, and here's my third one this week.

I have been challenged by Wendy via her blog, as she is not content with telling us all off if we stray on the diet we are doing and supporting each other through! Only kidding, love this challenge, and after making a list which contained two words- one a swear, I have decided.

My word of 2010 will be

FORWARDS!

So, why forwards?

Well, I am hoping this year to "move  forwards". I have felt that for too long I have had things I have wanted to achieve in life, yet due to not having the get up and go, or being pregnant, or just lazy, I guess, I haven't done them. I have settled in a way, and that's something I always said I didn't want to do. Let me explain.

My Mum is the catalyst. She turned 50 on Monday. I wasn't there, so I'm not sure whether she had a party, but I doubt it.

She had ambitions in life- I actually have inherited the writing gene from her. But from a young age she let people dictate to her what she should do- her own Mum, my Nan, picked out her GCSEs (or the equivalent of them at the time)  for her. She was a talented person, but the chossing of GCSEs for her meant she was stuck doing subjects she had little or no passion for, and therefore, the stress was so bad that when she came to sit the exams, her hands closed up and she couldn't write.

Then, at 16, she met my Dad, at 19 she married him, and at 22 she had me. After my sister came along when she was 25, she basically became a stay at home Mum. But I don't truly believe she has ever been 100% fulfilled or happy in life. During the rows which we would have when I became a rebellious  Teenager, she often told me how she regretted having me so young and how she had ruined her life. I grew up with a lot of guilt at that age on hearing that your Mum wishes you didn't exist. It took me a long time to realise that the blame lay at her door, not mine.

So, I am damned if I will end up in 16 years time telling my daughter I wish she hadn't been born.

Times are different now- Mum's are positively encouraged to go on and do higher education, or to work. Alot of Mums don't actually have a choice but to work!

In life, we make our own destiny- you and you alone make your future, and chose what paths we travel down. Sit about on your bum eating cakes and watching daytime TV and you will live to regret and wonder what you could've done.

Forward also means leaving past nastiness behind and moving on in that way too, and I am shedding the skin of 27 years of unpleasantness. On 10th February 2010, I will turn 28, and that will be the final day that I draw a line under the past.

Forward. My word.

I am going to tag 

Sandy at Baby Baby,

Victoria at Mum to a Princess

Carly at WADS 

Good Luck Girls!