Wednesday, 24 February 2010

Putting Away The Soap Box- a Personal Note to you all.

Oh dear, here we go again......

It appears I've done it again.

What, I hear you ask, have you got your self into now?

Well, I am never one not to voice an opinion, or to express my viewpoint, and it has often landed me in it. Why do I do it then? Because if I feel that something I believe in is at risk, or if I receive messages about unfairness, over things that upset my readers or fellow blog writers, then I can't help but say something. 

I do try and do it fairly, I hate bitchiness to the core. But the inevitable problem lies in that the net is a read only device, so the reader can only guess at the tone in which a comment is written.

Nine times out of ten I am sarcastic, I know its the lowest form of wit, but I come from a long line of Sarcastic B***ards so the gift is something I have no control over. Some people love sarcasm, but others hate it, and me no doubt!

However, I expressed a viewpoint yesterday which was completely taken out of context. 

And I am slowly starting to think that to survive in the shaky world of Mummy Blogging, we must toe a party line and whether we agree with something or not, the best way to do anything is to sadly, do nothing. Especially if the person you don't agree with (although I hasten to point out that "don't agree with" does not mean "do not like", as surely you can disagree with someones views and still ultimately like them as a person) is someone who is well respected or liked in the Mummy Blogging community, or more established than yourself?

I have said it before- I love Parent Blogging, but do sadly now see that with every good point, there will come a time when a bad element (not person, I'm talking in respect of gossiping, bitching and in fighting) does filter in as the network becomes more successful, and busier.  I had feared that for some time, since the dawn of 2010, this time has arrived.

The fault?

Is it that our views  are now called on for all sorts of Gameshowesque prizes from PRs in return for a small write up? Or because more and more of us are being courted by the press too?

I worry that rather than patting people on the back, there is an element of sticking a knife there instead.

So, apologies, but I am putting away my soap box for a while. I still invite you all to contact me for advice, but I wont be voicing yours and my opinions in the public domain. I care about my blog too much to be writing it for no reason. I am also resigning from any lists, from the Top 100, Post Rank, Technorati, the lot. 

I will be blogging for blogs sake, not the small glory of my name in a list, and I urge others to continue with their blogs regardless of these lists.

We are a talented bunch regardless, so don't ever feel like giving up because you don't make it in. 

If you feel that your inclusion in the lists means more PR companies contacting you, well its not always the case. I work with lots of PRs, and most are more interested in hearing your actual stats from you. And I am happy to let anyone who wants to Guest Review for Family Panel, so let me know if you want to do that. We even have a little badge now! (See, sarcasm), and we link to your personal blog in the first part of the piece, and with average daily views reaching 200, I'm sure you'll not be ignored as a blogger for long.

I am still happy to promote those who feel ignored or in the shade on here to, in fact I am thinking, depending on what you lovely bunch think, of doing a monthly "Sending Blogger Love" feature, so still drop me an email if you'd like me to encourage new readers from my old loyal followers.



  1. Sorry to hear you feel like this Claire. I think everyone is free to speak their mind on their blogs, there is no need to toe the line. The more controversial you are, the more likely people are to disagree with you. As long as this is done in a respectful way this isn't a problem like you say. The more hurtful stuff will always happen and my new mantra for dealing with that is either to ignore it or stay away from the blogosphere until you feel okay again. There is a lot of positive stuff in the world of mummy blogging too.

  2. It's such a shame when others come along and ruin it for us. Sometimes the things we say aren't taken as we mean them, especially on the web! Don't worry yourself over it, there is still plenty of love in the blogging community and I tend to laugh at those trying to put a wedge in our otherwise happy place. I say, be sarcastic! Be you and don't let the jerks get you down xx

  3. Thanks ladies, I'll still be my opinionated self, just in quiet from now on!

    Emily, I know you had a bit of a shitty weekend, I didn't see the blogs before you deleted it (sorry, net was kaput!), but it is awful having your views taken out of context, and I'm glad you carried on blogging regardless, like me!

    Mesina, welcome to the blog, as a person who is also helping spread Blogger Love, you're very welcome, and you're right in that there will always be the detractors.

  4. There's always the risk in the blgosphere that you'll be the subject of the latest attack. Despite that risk try to remain true to yourself and your beliefs; any controversy you may be a part of will pass.

  5. I don't know what it is with some people; some can take offence at the slightest little comment, occasionally it might be the wrong time of the month for them, unless they're a bloke of course, then it's just because they don't like being disagreed with.

    I feel sorry that you have had to endure this and especially sorry that you are pulling out of lists etc. But whatever makes you feel better you must do. Sometimes we just want to say our piece. And we have every right to do so.

    CJ xx

  6. Sadly I think a lot of the bad feeling that's arising in the blogging community is to do with misunderstandings/misinterpretations. I think people forget that words can cause hurt and upset if they're interpreted incorrectly and that's something we all need to be aware of - it's easy to forget you're not actually talking to people verbally and therefore they won't always get the innotations you're using. I'm quite outspoken and use irony a lot but that doesn't always come across on twitter, for example, and that's something I'm personally making an extra effort to be aware of.

    As far as PR companies go... I get the impression most bloggers blog for the love of writing, not because they want to be contacted by PR companies. I agree with you though that if you want to build a relationship with PR companies you don't necessarily have to be ranked on a list, although inevitably you will be asked for your stats as PRs become more blog-savvy.

  7. Exactly, as I say, it is only a read only platform. Perhaps with the sudden craze for vlogging, the days of misunderstanding will end.

    And glad I'm not the only one who gives the advice that PRs/brands will want your stats from you, regardless of lists.

    I started blogging via My Space years ago, before PR people started to catch on in the UK, and had no intention of using my blog to get free stuff, rather to keep my hand in with my hobby, and in the hope that an editor might spot me in the same way as Lily Allen got noticed by a producer! Its just when you are being contacted more and more then its hard not to have ones head turned.

    Hence why I started reviewing separately to the main blog, firstly through a little page, then the "other" site, now Family Panel. But again, I review honestly, regardless of upsetting the brand, and love the chance to write in a different style to this page

  8. Part of its in your head, if you decide to be a victim, you'll be a victim- be empowered instead. The top 100 is nothing more than a popularity contest. Your averaging almost 20 visitors a day, so you're obviously not doing it for the fame or recognition, so what does it matter what other people or doing or saying?

    S xx

  9. My first thought on reading your title was "what's she done now". I love it that you have strong opinions and aren't afraid to voice them, shame it means that you come under attack for that as you're only being honest.

    Nothing would drive me away from your blog, have loved it from the first day I found you. Don't feel like you have to change for anyone! x

  10. Just be yourself. I've experienced some bitchiness too, but to be honest I just think that if people want to be like that they must have too much time on their hands. Blogs are personal accounts they're not designed to make everyone happy. We read them to hear other opinions. I do anyway. You have a great blog, so sod what anyone says!

  11. I came looking for a guest post and found this!
    I'm new to blogging and therefore haven't yet bumped into any animosity.
    However I have written emails in the past that have been misinterpreted and it's a very sticky one to deal with.
    Your backpeddaling can make you look more guilty than ever!
    Anyway, glad to have found you and hope it'll all blow over soon like most of these things do :)


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