Tuesday, 24 July 2012

Katie Price: Do Shut Up

There's nothing I like more than a bit of peace, a cup of coffee, and a read of the papers. It's something I used to do every day, but now I have less peace and quiet to read anything, so am left with reading the Teletext service instead.

I do, however, still buy papers on Sunday. I can't be bothered with every high brow broadsheet as it's Sunday and frankly you need one day where you don't have to read about depressing economical news, or how bad our government is getting. So I read The Sun on a Sunday, as it's full of nothing but trashy celebs. It's a point and laugh exercise.

They do make me giggle that they have tried to go a bit more high brow by getting columnists in. I laugh because one of the columnists columns couldn't be less high brow if she tried.

Step forward Jordan, or Katie Price as she refers to herself when not getting her baps out  she feels like it. For quite a while now since the death of the News of the World, Katie has been using the services of a ghost writer writing a column filled with her opinions on everything from politics to Amy Childs. Sometimes, she surprises me that she can put forward a sensible argument- she is currently campaigning for her eldest child's Independent School to remain open, and she writes with admirable passion.

However, some opinions shared by Ms Price just make me laugh out loud as it would appear Katie has never heard of irony.

Take this weekend.

Katie had a small story on how lots of Mum's now feel pressured to look good at the school gate by the Yummy Mummy faction. Apparently, these preened women are getting up at 6am, plastering on the make up and giving scant regard to the needs of their kids in pursuit of being "catwalk ready" for the school run. It intimidates other Mums, cried Katie. They should all get jobs, she printed in bold print. (With no word on how we would go about finding these jobs to fit around school, holidays from school, and the cost of childcare).

Now, coming from anyone else, this may have been a well written piece and may have been something I'd have nodded at. But it's written by Jordan, a woman so obsessed with perfection that she barely resembles herself ten years ago.
Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

How dare she bemoan Mum's like me who like to put on clean clothes and a bit of make up before 8.30am. According to Katie, I should follow her lead and wear barely clean trackie bottoms and no make up (God knows how scary that must be for the kids and Mums to see what all that surgery looks like sans slap). 

What makes it even more comical than the fact this woman has spent hundreds of thousands of pounds on cosmetic surgery, has had countless boob jobs, botox, fillers and hair extensions is that she admits that she hardly ever gets to drop her kids off at school as she's "busy". So how the hell would she know?

She also complains bitterly that most school gate Mum's at her kids schools don't talk to her, she feels, because she doesn't get dressed up to the nines of a morning (you know, when she's not too busy to drop the kids at school). What a load of tosh. Has she ever considered the possibility that the reason they find it difficult to talk to her because, for the past 10 years she has documented every part of her ever changing anatomy, and her life, including weddings, divorces and giving birth on the telly? Seriously, love, are you kidding me? 

Frankly, she'd probably hate me on the school run. I always have clean hair, my clothes will be freshly washed and ironed, and I may not plaster on make up but I do wear it. Likewise, both the Bratlings leave the house tidy, clean and with, in Mini's case homework all ready in her reading folder. Being suitably dressed for the school run never means my kids are late for school, or don't get quality time with me of a morning, its called time management. Like making up lunchboxes and getting clothes out and and ready the night before.

So, Katie, get back in your box, shut up, and perhaps next time you take the kids to school, don't bring a bloody TV production company with you.

Bad parenting for putting on a bit of make up in the morning? I think parading your kids on TV almost from the moment of conception, the divorces, the partying, and the general circus that is your life is much worse. Not to mention the grief they will get at school when their peers Google your name.


  1. I loved your blog!! I am actually one of the "dummy mummy's", "monster mums" she's referring to at her school. My son is good friends with her son, and on several occasions I have tried to make conversation.......but it's difficult to make conversation with someone ignoring you!!!
    On the rare occasion she does make it to the school run she parks her status symbol car outside the door of the school to avoid having to make conversation! It amused me to see that she didn't have the guts to post it before the end of term.......coward!

  2. Love it, and thx !!! I am one of the "monster" mums at the school and I do have a full time job (and so do many of the other mums at the school and the ones that don’t work are actually there everyday to pick up their children, not send a nanny to do it). I am only at the school pick up on my alloted day off but I can assure you none of the mums are like she says and I have also tried to talk to her (and her entourage she brings to the school) but with the minimum response so gave up after that. How she had the front to write that article I have no idea......She is the pinnacle of a woman who is known for dressing and making herself up and wanting attention......the reason she wrote the article is because she is no longer getting that attention and there are other yummy mummys at the school that get a lot more than she does.....pure bitter jealousy is what it boils down to in this case.....We are all very much looking forward to the school runs again in September….!!!! Oh and I can assure you that trackie bottoms and no make up is not how she turns up.....I do recall over the knee red pvc boots with hotpants for one trip.......unbelievable!!!!

  3. Haha it intimidates her obviously - I am usually self confessed slummy, disorganised Mummy but that's just the way I am - I don't get intimidated by the Mother's that aren't. What does it matter what you look like? x

  4. I am the 'monster' mummy with the miniature dog that she refers to. I have been to her house and taken her son out for the day, bought him lunch and a toy and didn't even get a thank you - you can see the bitterness in her face and she actively avoided conversation with me and practically made a beeline for my very bemused husband. She has worn done horrific outfits to the school but each to their own (pink shiny boots anyone?) but we are all mums at the same school and should be allowed to wear what we want. I like my mascara and bronzer if a morning and if she thinks my clothes are designer then Topshop is serving me well! It's funny that her ex husband is friendly with a fair few of the mums and dads at the school, maybe because he's not a bitter twisted old has been that has ruined her looks and is jealous of anyone that hasn't, writing a bitchy slanderous article in the national press about a bunch of hardworking, genuine women who are going about minding their business is disgusting. If 'working' is getting your tits out and shagging footballers to work your way 'up' then thank you very much but I'll keep my alleged mundane job of being a good mum any day.

  5. I'm in totally agreement with Katie over fifty percent of the mums at her kids primary school are very stuck up! They like to talk in loud voices about little Olivia Sebastian ect and how they must get home to their tutor and organic whatever! They think the school is a private school but it is not intact the mums at a private school up the road are far more down to earth! Go get a life and stop picking holes in other peoples kids when you don't know the facts!

    1. Hi Anonymous- thanks for commenting.

      Can I just say first and foremost, that at no point have I picked holes in other people's children. I worry for her kids in the future, as kids can be cruel and its not going to take long for Katie's past to be used as ammo against them- my own Dad having a ponytail back in my school days was enough for bullies to make my life miserable, imagine what the kids at Katie's kids school will have to use!
      I merely commented on an article (quite a number of weeks ago) that I found funny. If it had of been written by a Mum who has never touched the amount of surgery Katie has, and who doesn't court controversy for her own financial gain then it would have been fine.
      You're obviously not a regular reader here, as you'd know like most Bloggers, I'm a social commentator and thus I do write about what I read and see, both online and off it. Katie can hardly enforce the natural look after all we all know through her fascinating programmes and many, many, many biographies that she's never far from the surgeons door!

  6. This has all made interesting reading and a great insight into the psyche of the 'sausage brains' that flock at the school gates.

    I'm no groupie or follower of Jordan/Katie Price but she's got a point, a well informed point from my experience. You might want to ask yourselves why she feels the way she does and why she quite rightly published those feelings.

    Maybe it's because like myself, she's had to run the gauntlet of strong, cheap perfume and the sticky web that's the scowls and disapproving gossip you all supply each morning and afternoon with such verocity it makes me feel physically sick!

    I have witnessed the same vile attitude as I've entered the playground with a child that's less than well behaved, a child who is currently undergoing psychological evaluation for high functioning autism.

    It's interesting as I said at the beginning - mainly because one anonymous mother stated that KP had left it till after the end of term to speak out... What were you going to do anon? Spray her in the face with cheap perfume or report her to the head mistress for parking her 'status symbol' pink range rover in a marginally annoying place outside the school gates? "Oh please miss, please miss! Katie's been naughty miss!" get a life!

    It's fascinating too that one mother has even gone to the trouble of blogging about the subject; with much the same effort as she probably uses at the school gates to bully the mums that aren't part of her inner circle of fellow 'sausage brain' mums!

    In future, before you respond to what other people say about you in such a way that clearly illustrates your frustration at living such a vacuous and avaricious life - think twice about what you've been saying about them whilst hanging around the school gates... You left school yourselves a long time ago, some longer than others judging by the lack of Botox!

    I'm sure if you all dig deep enough you're capable of compassion and understanding but I shan't be holding my breath!

    Yours hopefully,

    Father of difficult but loving child

    1. Firstly "Father" )sorry but the use of "anon" kind of leaves me no choice but to use the name you signed off with), I'm not a Mum at Katie's school- I live in Berkshire so obviously have no idea on your fellow anon commenters above and their statements. However, unless a comment is pretty nasty or trolling, I post ALL comments on the blog and views on what I have posted. Have to say though, your attitude that I am a "sausage brain" (good use of child in playground name there. considering you accuse Mums of behaving as if they are still at school, bit ironic really) and other unfair names and finger pointing nearly rendered you in the spam bin.

      I wrote my post as an reader of the paper she writes for as I found the irony of her words shocking and funny. I don't have botox I can assure you unlike Kate I don't have the money to waste on vanity. I do however like to look my best- to my mind that doesn't mean I bully other Mums (or Dads), its an old fashioned notion that before you step out in the morning you have your hair brushed, your teeth cleaned and a slick of lippie on.
      I also commented on Katie's notion that all Mums should find employment. I'm sure most will agree, in the current economical climate we find ourselves in, its hard enough to find employment, it becomes harder still when you factor in childcare. Which would mean who would bring the children to school for the school run? She made a comment that we should spend more time on the children and less on putting on make up, so how would she suggest that we do that AND have a Job? She also says that she barely gets to drop her on children at school, so there again, she's saying it's fine for her to not be there for her children, but not for others (who clearly are there at the school gates as they don't have a job!).
      I have compassion for anyone who doesn't put themselves and thus their children "out there" for mass media consumption, embarrass these children and then tell us all how we should live our lives. She is hardly a good advocate of the natural look after all.
      I cannot comment as I said on the follow up comments, thus I didn't reply to them, I just posted them. I can tell you at my school there is no fug of cheap perfume or botox, its a friendly environment and no matter what a Mum wears to school, I don't pass comment as its personal choice. There is certainly no "inner circle!" and frankly I'm not one of the most dressed up Mums in the playground, we all get along because I'd imagine we are all nice in that way and we don't have an attention seeking glamour model in our midst.
      I doubt very much Katie's fellow school gate Mums will be "spraying her with perfume", I just think its a case of, of you want to make widespread comments on a group of your fellow school gate Mums and stand by them, then perhaps she should have said it during term time when they could have asked her why she did it.

  7. Shame on you for not posting my last comment! Bit one sided this blog! I shall be re-posting my comment via twitter including your dumb reply to my first comment!

    1. Hi Anonymous (not sure which one you are as there have been several). Your comment baffles me! All comments on this blog have been posted (I checked, the only one that wasn't was a spam comment for tooth whitening so I'm guessing that's not you).
      You mention my "dumb reply" you see I can only reply when the comment is published. Or you wouldn't see the reply.
      How about you help me out here and tell me which comment you refer to?
      Or feel free to email me!


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