I do, however, still buy papers on Sunday. I can't be bothered with every high brow broadsheet as it's Sunday and frankly you need one day where you don't have to read about depressing economical news, or how bad our government is getting. So I read The Sun on a Sunday, as it's full of nothing but trashy celebs. It's a point and laugh exercise.
They do make me giggle that they have tried to go a bit more high brow by getting columnists in. I laugh because one of the columnists columns couldn't be less high brow if she tried.
Step forward Jordan, or Katie Price as she refers to herself when
However, some opinions shared by Ms Price just make me laugh out loud as it would appear Katie has never heard of irony.
Take this weekend.
Katie had a small story on how lots of Mum's now feel pressured to look good at the school gate by the Yummy Mummy faction. Apparently, these preened women are getting up at 6am, plastering on the make up and giving scant regard to the needs of their kids in pursuit of being "catwalk ready" for the school run. It intimidates other Mums, cried Katie. They should all get jobs, she printed in bold print. (With no word on how we would go about finding these jobs to fit around school, holidays from school, and the cost of childcare).
Now, coming from anyone else, this may have been a well written piece and may have been something I'd have nodded at. But it's written by Jordan, a woman so obsessed with perfection that she barely resembles herself ten years ago.
How dare she bemoan Mum's like me who like to put on clean clothes and a bit of make up before 8.30am. According to Katie, I should follow her lead and wear barely clean trackie bottoms and no make up (God knows how scary that must be for the kids and Mums to see what all that surgery looks like sans slap).
What makes it even more comical than the fact this woman has spent hundreds of thousands of pounds on cosmetic surgery, has had countless boob jobs, botox, fillers and hair extensions is that she admits that she hardly ever gets to drop her kids off at school as she's "busy". So how the hell would she know?
She also complains bitterly that most school gate Mum's at her kids schools don't talk to her, she feels, because she doesn't get dressed up to the nines of a morning (you know, when she's not too busy to drop the kids at school). What a load of tosh. Has she ever considered the possibility that the reason they find it difficult to talk to her because, for the past 10 years she has documented every part of her ever changing anatomy, and her life, including weddings, divorces and giving birth on the telly? Seriously, love, are you kidding me?
Frankly, she'd probably hate me on the school run. I always have clean hair, my clothes will be freshly washed and ironed, and I may not plaster on make up but I do wear it. Likewise, both the Bratlings leave the house tidy, clean and with, in Mini's case homework all ready in her reading folder. Being suitably dressed for the school run never means my kids are late for school, or don't get quality time with me of a morning, its called time management. Like making up lunchboxes and getting clothes out and and ready the night before.
So, Katie, get back in your box, shut up, and perhaps next time you take the kids to school, don't bring a bloody TV production company with you.
Bad parenting for putting on a bit of make up in the morning? I think parading your kids on TV almost from the moment of conception, the divorces, the partying, and the general circus that is your life is much worse. Not to mention the grief they will get at school when their peers Google your name.