He laments that, when you get to his age, birthdays don't have the same meaning.Its just another year. Or so I was told.
Back in January, and after getting a call from his lovely friend of 20 odd years whilst I was out without Elder, the thought struck that maybe we could organise a surprise birthday party for him. He spent all of last year after his birthday moaning that on turning 40 he hadn't found some of the mates he'd have liked there, and within weeks they all appeared on Facebook.
So I and Lovely 'I' decided to hatch a sneaky plan to get all his old mates together at our house, and so messages where sent over Twitter and through various family members. I had even come up with a way of getting him out the house- by his elder sisters asking him to babysit at one of their homes so they could go to some party (hence then they could be swankily dressed!). Meanwhile, we would all be sorting the house, getting everyone hidden out the back etc. So then one of his sisters or Brothers in law would pop back to the house (and an alternative babysitter would go round the back out of sight) and bemoan that the party was cancelled and offer him a lift home. Then they would get back and hey presto "Surprise". Yay!
No, so not Yay.
Elder and I were sharing a bottle of wine about a fortnight later, and I asked him about his birthday. And he spent about 10 minutes telling me he really just didn't want to make a fuss and couldn't be bothered. He even mentioned how annoyed he'd be if anyone went OTT.
So, with messages pinging back again to cancel, it was decided (by him, I'd learned my lesson) that he would have a good old fashioned family meal. He was quite looking forward to it- his family are big on, well family, but hadn't gotten together for a big family meal in a restaurant for years.
But that had to be cancelled as his sister the nurse is in Berlin, and left the day before his birthday.
With a shrug, he was happy to have a home cooked meal and lunch out with me and the kids.He said he might even get 'Lovely I' (LI) over for a few beers and some music.
Off he went on Saturday, at 6pm, to meet LI and have a game of pool in the pub before coming home for dinner.
By 9pm, I thought boys will be boys so had some dinner myself.
Then he walked in with LI, his Brother (who "happened" to be strolling by) and his really old mate since school, M the Twat as I shall refer to him. Or M the T if I get lazy!
I had only met him once before.
Nurse Sister, when I told her who Elder had gone to meet from the station on that occasion reacted by asking incredulously "what's he want to see that freak for??," so I was dubious.
But my word, nothing prepared me.
Freak doesn't even begin to describe this person.
He obviously is not a fan of women. Or, more specifically, me.
That same weekend LI and his missus LE came over for Sunday dinner, and Elder and LI went off to grab some veg and bits for it. Leaving LE and I, as well as the Tots and LI and LE's son, and M the T in our house.
At which point M the T decided to go on and on and on about sci-fi, even though both LE and I told him we had no idea what he was going on about, but nodding politely anyway. He was not happy about this at all.
Then he couldn't find his hat.
Mini throws calmer strops when she can't find the Teddies.
So both of us girls thought he was a weirdo. We both said at the time how uncomfortable he made us feel.
When he left, I'd asked if he would mind Elder waiting until Mini went to bed (in half an hour) as she gets upset if he isn't there to say night to, before he walked to the station with him.
Well, you'd think I'd asked him to wait a fortnight, as he proceeded to have a right go at me about having not seen Elder in 20 years (like it was my fault) and how I was being out of order. In the end I just told them to go, if it was so important they couldn't wait half an hour, and Elder didn't get back from this walk to the station until 10pm. I was really annoyed with him in the morning, and asked what station he'd walked him to that it took that long, and he did apologise, but his mate continued to be off with me when he phoned to speak with Elder. I just thought he was an arsehole, and silently hoped it would be another 20 years before they got together!
So when he walked in on Saturday, I was a bit peed off that Elder hadn't warned me.
Now as I said, I was eating dinner, so as they all piled in, I said hi to LI , Elder's brother and M the T. But for him, that wasn't good enough. I actually think he wanted me to do some Glee-a-like cheer and kiss his feet. He stood over me (and I hate when people do this- my Mum used to do this to make herself look bigger) and demanded a better hello, saying how I was obviously not pleased to see him. He got all that from "Hi". Issues or what? But I ignored it, and cooked them all dinner, then went to bed.
But he continued to be rude all Sunday. He was last up, and stomped about the room (not a morning person then).
He was rude to Elder's brother when he told him that a hair of the dog was not allowed because the children. He then thought he was oh so funny- I was trying to get past him in the back room, which is quite tight for space cos all the stereo equipment in it. But rather than moving back, he kept moving closer towards me,so the space was getting tighter, and grinned moronically at me.
He'd already shown how arsey he could be- he woke the kids up on the Saturday. Whereas everyone else is really respectful of the kids being in bed, and keep doors where music is playing shut, and creep about downstairs, M the T took phonecalls where he left the noisy room, and came out to the middle room and shouted top level at the person on the other end, even though LI came and told him to keep it down- he had to get Elder to tell him before he went in the kitchen. So Mini was awake until gone midnight. And Littlest was woken up by his noise 4 times. And I had no sleep. (Funnily enough, he said he was having a row with his daughter. Who called him a freak).
Then, even though everyone else got the idea that Littlest was having a nap on Sunday, what did M the T do? Immediately crank the stereo up- and every time I turned it down, he cranked it up again.
It says it all that when LE came over to pick LI up, she took one look at M the T and whispered to me "Oh no, not him".
I ended up trying to tell Elder what was going on, but he didn't see it- and said I was being paranoid. So I went upstairs and refused to come down. And did they save me any dinner- no. Elder was looking after the kids, and M the T and Elder's brother proceeded to demolish the whole roast chicken, a tray of roast spuds, veg and gravy. Its only through luck the kids got any dinner. I had a sandwich.
So in the end, by 5pm, I had enough. I came down and kicked M the T and Elders brother out- and yet again he was rude to me.
So, what do you do when his friend isn't yours, and is really nasty?
Have you been there- if so what did you do?
Answers below please!
*photos from Google Images