So, tomorrow marks the start of a new month, and usually I'd give you my Botox List. However, I'm going to remix it a little, and bring you the Dim Girls Guide to "Things I have Learnt This Month". I often lern new stuff which is quite cool, or think of stuff which causes Elder to shake his head in disgust at me and/or my lack of knowledge considering my excellent GCSE grades (except maths. That was pretty crap actually).
- The coveing in my house isn't original as I first thought. Not unless Victorians invented Polysterene.
- Borders are ugly, but they are also a pain in the arse to remove.
- Pot Noodles no longer taste as nice in your late twenties as they do when you're 18!
- The glue that sticks wallpaper and borders when wet goes like snot. Eugh.
- My definition of the after life is markedly different to Elders. I imagine that in Heaven you get what you wanted in life, as a reward for being good. So, I said that if or when I go I think it will be full of shoes and handbags, and nice clothes. Oh, and you can eat what you like and be a size 8. Elder shook his head at this, and The Nephew laughed.
- Dunkirk is near France, not in Scotland as I thought.
- One of my new neighbours is weird. Stepford over the top friendly Bree Van Der Kamp enthusiatic. O dear, she will probably hate my lack of enthusiasm for anything like PTA or Governors.
- There is a Public right of way going back yonks in my back garden. Doh.
- My children wont eat any dinners, but they find snot irresistible.
- Mini loves Glee possibly more than I do, and keeps asking to watch it at bedtime instead of Spot or Little Red Tractor.