Monday, 19 July 2010

#Mummy Fails: The Stuff I Lie to my Kids About.

Being a lover of all things Twitter, and a nosy cow to boot looking at others tweets, I have seen quite a few trending topic tweets that have #MummyFail at some point in the 140 character limit.

So, Mummy Fails, what are they for you Twitter virgins?

Put simply, they are the moments when we do something or say something, maybe even forget something, which makes us feel like a little bit of a failure as a Mummy, or are guilty over. So we tweet it and others laugh, or admit to similar wrong doing, and we breathe a gigantic sigh of relief that we aren't the only ones to have made this mistake as a Mummy. Phew!

Its got me thinking about my own times of Mummy Failure, or the things I willfully lie to my kids about. Not in a nasty Kat Slater Eastenders "I'm your Muvvvaaaaa!!!' moment, hell no! 

Nope, here are the Mummy Fails I regularly, or not so regularly, have achieved. Enjoy!

  • Ice Cream Trucks. Mini has no idea that these are there to sell ice cream to children. She actually thinks, because I told her, that they are musical cars, and the people driving them just like to play music because they like the hot weather.
  • Salad leafs. These are not salad in my house, to Mini they are Fairy Leaves. She now thinks that if she wants to be a Fairy, and have wings, that she has to eat lots of Fairy Leafs or sadly her wings wont grow. Shocking!
  • The Park goes to sleep. She always wants to go to the park when I have a half hundred weight of shopping in the buggy, my arms are killing me from trying to stop it tipping, and I am sweating and in need of a cup of tea. So, I tell her that the park is asleep, as its very tired and needs a rest from all the children trampling round it. She believes me so much that she says "Goodnight park, sleep tight" to it.
  • If she gets in a huff about walking, I distract her by getting her to say hello to passing dogs, cars, diggers or trees, as it's polite.
  • When she fell over while carrying her potty (that had a little bit of wee in it), I checked she was OK, and then laughed my ass off as she was saying she was covered in wee wees, and her fringe was damp. I did, however, laugh whilst I stuck her in the bath, I'm not that mean! 
  • Ronald McDonald does deliveries to our house, including Pork Chops and mash. He's also a Potato loving Irishman who loves Pork. That's what I told her this evening anyway.
  • That Alex and Kerry from Beebies go out for lunch, sometimes for 3 hours, the workshy pair. Then I get to turn it off as soon as the Lunch song comes on. If I really am sick of it, I tell her they've gone on holiday, then I get away with a whole days abstinence. That one was so good, it got in the Daily Mirror last week!
I love Mummy Fails! Life's little way of making parenting easier!


  1. I have a few of these too, they just make things flow more easily!

  2. Can't believe I never thought of any of these! Is 8 years old a bit late to mention the fairy leaves thinbg? Doubt anything would get her majesty eating lettuce!

  3. Genius! I have used the 'it's sleeping' one myself quite a few times, although never for the park.
    One particularly annoying DVD did go 'on holiday' for a while, but sadly it managed to catch the plane back.

  4. Excellent! Kieran is 4yr now so not as easy to hoodwink but am noting these down for when Baby2 arrives!!


Thanks for Commenting!