Sunday, 5 December 2010

How Not to Impress the Neighbours

It seems my being right on isn't always great.

OK, so that sounds a bit sucky actually as obviously I know (from bitter experience) that my opinion is not always welcomed.

You see, Maidenhead- its been a Tory run town for quite a while now (yes, Theresa May bought that God awful jacket she always wears to everything from round these parts. Allegedly). And they don't like it if you're a bit laissez faire about politics and think David is a bit of a twat.

There I was, continuing in my attempts to de-crap my house before Christmas before we fill it up with more crap at Christmas (including whilst Elder went out the other day my "brilliant" idea to strip the walls in the living room. Oh dear), and to try to create storage options for the stuff we do actually like or need. When the door went.

In my opinion, Sundays should be the day when you don't have to answer the door to salesman, religious people, or uninvited guests of any nature. Sadly it appears I'm the only one, as it seems to be the day everyone wants to sell me windows, roofing and get my opinion on the latest "outrage" in Maidenhead.

Which was what this visitor wanted to talk to me about.

Well, I say talk but rather he just ranted at me, in what can only be described as a jacket which had been consistently worn since 1985, and unfortunately did not fit in with the current trend for 80s revival clothing. It was grey brown leather with a kind of 80s washed denim affect to it, you know the type, but with grey and brown leather. Ick. And it had a Biggles furry collar, which, having been over washed to within an inch of its life had taken on the look of a rain washed poodle.

His "issue" was that at the end of our Road there is a disused University site, just sitting being useless and has been redundant so long the vandals have even given up and left it. And some, well frankly despicable person has got plans approved by Theresa to build, wait for it as its truly disgraceful- HOUSES. and even worse-FLATS! 


I am of course joking! We need housing, badly in Maidenhead, as some poor people end up in temporary bedsits for three years or more. Or the idea of that is too scary so they end up, as we did, moving into ridiculously expensive Private Housing.

He battered on at my ears, moaning that these flats would be 5 storeys high.

At which point I think he knew I didn't share his anger and outrage, as I pointed out that they wouldn't be flats if they were two floors they'd be houses, so I said that would be pointless. 

He looked like he thought I was kidding. But then I made it clear I wasn't as I told him that I was for the development as we need housing of all sorts, and that it made a change for the council to approve housing stock instead of fancy office buildings, which then sit empty for ages.

"But what about parking? And traffic?" was his next way of trying to get me to sign his petition. 

I pointed out that a) I have a drive so parking doesn't really bother me, that b) should he own a residents parking sticker for our road, then he had no worries, and c) we have hardly any traffic now as we are off the main drag so a few cars wouldn't make much difference.

I also pointed out to him (even though he looked purple with rage) that we should think ourselves jolly lucky that in Maidenhead we still have the money for people to build housing- in other parts of the country they cant afford to build anything at all, in Ireland there are whole estates half finished and empty- these homes have all but been snapped up before the first bit of concrete is laid.

He called me irresponsible. 

OK then. 

I told him to bog off, and that I wouldn't sign his silly petition.

Then I shut the door on him!

Well, sorry but I didn't ask him to disturb my peace on a Sunday, near Christmas, with a petition which frankly would get him nowhere- if he was that bothered he should have complained before the plans were passed, they were at the council for months!

What annoying visitors have you had recently?

Let me know below!

As an aside, I have Guested over at BECKICKLESIE's blog with a little Christmas post, so show the Guest Posts and Becca's blog some love and appreciation people.

See you next week!

Image: Francesco Marino /

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