However, I like to watch Lorraine of a morning and so tuned in to the ITV+1 channel to catch the end.
Today, they were chatting about the latest trend for scarily skimpy shorts. These go beyond (literally) the realm of hot pants that skim the bottom but although they look naughty don't actually show anything other than leg. No, these show bottom too. Alot of bottom.
The discussion was whether teens should be allowed to wear these things. I can't bear to call them clothing as I've got bigger hankies. And socks. And belts.
It made me think of two such incidents when I happened to be in first Maidenhead and then Slough with the Bratlings.
On Sunday, Elder hopped in the Mini and went off to Kent to visit friends, so he dropped us in the High Street on the way. The Brats love the local Coffee Shop, so in we popped for a drink and a muffin whilst we waited for the supermarket to open.
In walked two typical specimens of Maidenhead 16 year old girl. Tiny vest top- check. Converse boots or Uggs- check. Jaunty scarf with Union Jack-check. Acres of golden hued skinniness on show and lots of long hair held back by designer sunnies- check, check and check.
Both had "Maidenhead standard" uniform denim shorts on. My niece has some, and most teens here seem to wear nothing but these or their leather versions come sun, wind or snow. Which is fine.
Except one of them turned round to be served at the till. Revealing that her shorts flashed at least an inch and a half of butt cheek. Whilst I will admit, this was not a flabby bum cheek, neither I, nor the poor elderly gentleman sitting near us who looked on the verge of a coronary wanted to see this at 10.50am of a Sunday morning.
Littlest saw too, and began snorting muffin out of his nose- "I can see her bum Mummy, look, look, its her bum!" Mini, taking up the theme, continued "look Mummy, she forgot her skirt! Silly girl. You forgot your skirt, I can see your knickers!".
The girl went bight red, and on collecting her coffee got the hell out of there.
Cut to Slough and again, we spotted arse wobbling along in front of us. Now I say wobbling because the wearer of these knicker shorts was the same size as me. I am not ashamed to say I have "Mummy arse". I, however keep mine firmly under enough material so I don't inflict it on others.
This lady had no such worries. She wasn't even slightly concerned at the looks of horror and mirth being directed at her or her ample cheeks.
Do we need that much information? I have no want or desire to become a gynaecologist, but seriously, these don't exactly spare blushes. And imagine the waxing involved?!
Now, I'm no prude, and there's nothing wrong with flashing a bit of leg, but does flashing this much flesh not leave girls open to all sorts? And what must young guys think- surely to them a girl who flashes her backside is fair game right?
The problem is, girls are attacked all the time, and sadly, if they happened to be drunk at the time they are seen as "having asked for it". So what happens if they wear these things and are attacked? Its a hard line really.
I know, being a Mum to a daughter, I wouldn't let her out in these at any age. I would want her to respect herself more than that to flash herself in public. But apparently there are girls as young as 12 and 13 buying these things and that just horrifies me that parents allow this to go on.
Kids should be kids, so to allow them to follow the looks of Rhianna, a grown woman who chooses to sexualise herself on stage and who, at the age she is knows what that means is irresponsible.
Do you let your kids out in these? What would you think if your teen wanted to wear them?