By "M" word, and before you all start going off and buying hats, I'm referring to the current, within the top 3, reason for giving me untold stress- Moving.
I bloody hate moving.
There I was, until I was 17, living in the same house from birth onwards. Then I moved once or twice, still within the same town I'd grown up in, surrounded by everyone I knew and with a good knowledge of the bus and train routes.
Cut to 2007 and we decided to move to Berkshire.
Admittedly, the area I'm from had been neglected and gone rapidly down hill, up until I'd had Mini I didn't mind it. But pushing my daughter in a pram and having to avoid scores of crackheads hiding round corners was enough to make me make the leap out of my hometown.
It was definitely a form of "grass is always greener". We didn't put any thought into it, but plumped for the area where Elder's family lived en masse (save for one in Croydon and one in Bexley Village). We had been there twice. It looked OK.
We hadn't put any thought into house prices, or schools, or anything much.
I do regret moving here though. I think life has been a disaster since we did move, and looking back, we'd have been better thinking a bit more than we did and perhaps looking at other factors and areas first.
Now, and for some time, I've felt horrifically trapped, lonely, and disillusioned. Meanwhile, rental prices have gone up- when we first moved here, a two bed house with garden went for around £800-900 a month. Now it's more like £1,250-1,600 or more for a two bed even flat, with no garden.
So, we are priced out, and we know we are, we know we have to go and we're not that bothered. Or I'm not that bothered, such is the lack of feelings I have towards the place.
I know it's wrong to associate bad luck with an area. We have had a run of it since coming here, what with my accident in the first house, to Littlest being born early, and the like.
This is where our issue lies though.
Where do we go to?
I am 100% behind going, not so much home, but to within a reasonable train distance from it. I miss my pals loads, most have now had babies and are Mum's themselves. I kind of also feel that I've let them down a bit by not being there for them, and likewise, when I've been through a bad time I have wished they were down the road and not three hours away. I also want to be near enough to London that it wont cost an arm and a leg to get to events.
Elder, meanwhile, wants to go anywhere but Kent, and would happily stay here even. He has been looking at Plymouth, where Nursey sister is going to in 2 years, or Cornwall again.
Now, I don't want to be mean about areas I don't know, but both of these have the same issues. We know no one, we know nothing about the area, its miles from London. All the same issues bar the London distance that we found on moving to where we are now.
It'll be over £100 to get to London as well, which is ridiculous for train fare but I don't drive and to be frank I wouldn't give me a car to drive. I know my limitations and driving is definitely one of them.
Its causing untold annoyance in our house.
I just want to go where I know isn't that posh or that great, but is affordable- a better the devil you know situation. Elder also wants cheaper prices but nice area. Can we have both? I doubt it.
So, at the moment I feel pulled in all directions and it sucks. I want to stand my ground over Kent but feel there are possibly people who feel they are helping by suggesting to us not to go to Kent who feel they are doing right by us but who maybe should let us decide as a family?
What would you do? Do you know Plymouth or Cornwall? What are they like when the holiday season ends?