Need Advice on Routines? Live Stream Show with Dora and Jacqueline Harding

When I had Mini, way back in 2007, I went about parenting in a bohemian style. When she was sleepy, I let her nod off. When she wanted to be fed, she got it. 

However, pretty soon, I was knackered, with a fractious baby who would wake up all night and sleep all day. She was dozy, hard to manage (trust me, we started to think she had extra sensitive smell as without fail the moment I picked up a fork, a sandwich or even a cup of coffee, she would immediately want feeding) and had me tearing my hair out. 

Then we moved from Kent to Berkshire when she was 6 months old and started to wean her. That was hard too as she was so out of sync with the rest of the world, she just didn't take to it.

My far wiser sister in law stepped in and decreed what this baby needed was a routine and fast. She had sworn by it with her two children as babies, and it had not failed her. Stick to a time to go in the bath, a time for a feed, a time for bed, and it'll happen.

The first night was horror filled. Mini cried for two hours straight. I'm not talking whimpering sobs, I'm talking blood curdling, screams so fierce I felt sure of two things: I was a crap Mummy and the Police must be on their way soon.

Happily, it got easier.

I'm sure I'm not the only one though who finds routines a nightmare and wonders if they are necessary.

That's where this live show comes in, with expert advice from Jacqueline Harding.

Covering newborns to child led activities, and the milestones in between, you can leave a question for Jacqueline in advice of the show here, which takes place on Monday from 12pm (and you can watch it below).

With the holidays coming up, you may want to know whether you should structure the 6 week break, or simply follow the lead of the children. Is there a set time for teaching kids the subjects which will get them ahead of the pack at school, or is it simply better to leave studying in the classroom?

All those topics are available to be covered, so don't be shy, ask a question!

Is It Just Me: Or Is This The Laziest Parenting Aid Ever?

The Facebook groups and Twitter feeds of Bloggers has been alive with derision today. And for once, it's not down to us all in fighting either (I didn't even have to hide after my awards post. Phew).

What has got us all doing a "hmm" face in disbelief? Its a new gadget that a Mumpreneur has invented and is trying to get us all excited about and review.

Its called the Mumma and Bubba Bib. 

Now, its not the awful chav sounding spelling of Mumma that has got the bloggers snorting left right and Facebook, no, its the concept.

The Mumma and Bubba Bib is, well, a bib. Which is fine right? Nope.

Double Beds on the Labour Ward? Have the NHS Gone Mad?

This was a headline I saw being discussed on TV this morning, and I had two reactions. Firstly I wanted to check it wasn't April 1st, and secondly I spat my coffee out in shock.

The NHS- you know, them of the lack of funds, epic failings on waiting times, sometimes rude staff and general "only go if you really have no choice" (eg a limb falling off which you can't sew back yourself)- has decided to place double beds on Labour and Maternity wards. They believe this will make Dad's feel more involved right from the start, as they can snuggle up in bed right from the first push.

As a woman, I have to say- hell no! Are you mad?

Comment: Mum's and Personal Choice

Another day and another set of "experts" have found yet another way of causing Mum Guilt.


This time, not unusually, its Breast Feeding related, which is hardly a surprise.


Apparently, for ages and ages us Mummies have been told we should Breast Feed exclusively for the first 6 months of our babies life. This is exactly what I did with Mini. 


This was in the days when as a rookie Mummy, even in pregnancy, I read and researched every guideline almost daily (in fact it became an obsessive compulsion. Almost like my Twitter usage now but in a much more unhealthy way) and followed it to the absolute letter. And if my longed for girl needed nothing but Mummy Milk, then so be it. 


In fact, I breastfed Mini until she was 1. Even when her teeth came through. Even though I couldn't ever express so had to do all night feeds for 3 months and didn't go out for an evening, or longer than an hour in the day without her, for the whole of that year. 


I loved breastfeeding, loved the closeness, and very rarely got the hump with it. I also liked that I could eat family sized pizzas and huge helpings of Chinese take away without putting on a pound (in fact I actually think I looked at my best then- skinny of waist but massive of bosoms!).


Mini finally started having home made food bang on 6 months old. I often wondered if she was in need earlier, but no, the guidelines and the Midwife told me not to so I went along with it.


Cut to when Littlest was born, and of course he was born at 28 weeks, and hard as I tried, I had no milk. I cried, I was so upset.  So, Littlest had to have formula- most babies in SCBU do end up having this milk, and, frankly at the time there are more important things to worry about.


By then, I wasn't so obsessed on the "rules" set out by the experts. I felt disillusioned by them, as I had followed the guidelines, and he was still early and very sick. With that in mind, when Littlest came home, I decided to let him tell me what was what. And if he felt hungry, and I felt he was needing it, I would give him solids.


With Littlest, I knew- he started to be grouchy in the day (he still is if he's hungry even now), and waking up for a night feed again. By his corrected age (which is what we go by as do the medical people), he was meant to have been 4 months old. 


With the knowledge that he was hungry and it was upsetting him, I gave him, once again, home made food, mashed up. Immediately he went back to happy chappy, sleeping through.


With what is being said today from these experts, we now shouldn't Breastfeed exclusively for 6 months, but should give solids at 4 months. The scaremongering thing though, and the thing that a new rookie Mum who was as worried and easily guilted out as I once was, is the reasons they have given.


Apparently, if you don't, or haven't given solids at this point, your child could have allergies. It could have less Iron intake then they need. Finally, it may stop them having a healthy sleep pattern as Breastfed babies wake more in the night.


What a load of speculation that is. 


As I said above, I have one breast fed exclusively, and one formula fed and weaned at 4 months baby.


Who has the allergies?


Littlest- Mr Weaned at 4 months baby. Very severe allergy too- if he eats fish or peas (including chick peas), he goes into anaphylatic shock. He was the child who was woken by his hunger for food.


Mini has no allergies at all, not one. Not even hayfever. She was a great sleeper by 3 months, rarely waking in the night. She is rarely ill, I think in close to four years she has been ill 3 times. 


You know what- this isn't a post to say "You must breastfeed". Hell no.


This is a post for all you rookie Mums. All you Mums living with the "Mum Guilts". 


This is your baby. This is your call. 


If you have an expert give you the law as it stands at that point (because according to a friend of mine with more than one child, in between her eldest and youngest the information from experts had changed 3 times), nod politely, tell them you quite agree. Then if it doesn't suit you, disregard.


No one knows your child like you do. We have an intuition to our children, I truly believe that. Unless its something which could make them ill, just remember, we carried them, we brought them into the world without their help, I think we have a damn good idea what's best.


Breast or bottle? Its all good! 


Down with Mum Guilt I say!