Saturday, 14 May 2011


Now, I may have too much time on my hands, but spammers suck, right?

Having a number of different email addresses, I get a whole heap of it, not all of which makes my spam box for some reason, and now I even get the odd spam from my blog comments (what's the deal with that?). Which is part of the reason I moderate comments. 

Apparently some proper readers find moderating comments annoying, but to me it's a must, so if I do have a few of you who lurk and then don't comment due to this, well that's fine- I don't have any captchas to fill out or what have you, so its not so hard to comment then I will usually post it within a while.

Email spam is worse though.

I have lost count of the many by now gazillions of dollars/yen/pounds sterling I have won/inherited/been trusted with, all mine for the price of my bank details in full. Who knew Coca Cola, Pay Pal and others give out such huge amounts in "email lotteries"? 

I have had messages from girls who have seen my "Handsome profile of manlihood" on a "dating" or "Brides" website and they "likey me ver muchly" (I'm not kidding, that was how one spammers put it). 

They vary, and are annoying (if you have stacks of them like me) but, you can fun with them.

Take the message I received from "Ellen" on Friday.

With the subject line "Sending you my nude pic" she continued:
hi sweetie...

sending you my naked picture I made today, hope you like it :)


Followed by a pic attachment. Or virus whatever you prefer to call them.

My reply? Because some times you just have to reply, either out of boredom or sarcasm, or just to laugh at that them-
Ellen, Ellen Ellen.
Darling, its back to the drawing board for you!
Now, whilst I don't doubt you sent a naughty pic for me to view, and not some nasty little bug to infiltrate my web and steal all my passwords (and thus my cash), well, you've targeted the wrong person! You see I am a lady myself with my own bits and bobs to look at whenever I so wish, so I'm not going to want to view yours now am I? 
Perhaps next time send your little gift to a sexual deviant male with an interest in the seedier side of our wonderful interweb, and leave me to my Twitter.
Good luck in your endeavour! 
So, next time you are offered loads of cash, naked pics or something else, all of which will lead to you being robbed blind or being infected with a virus which will kill your computer and still rob you blind in the process, send them a reply. 

After all, its rude not to reply to mail!

1 comment:

    I hate spam and it's also the reason I moderate my comments on my blog.
    I have also won a lot of lotteries I didn't enter and have inherited millions from someone who trusts no-one but me. It's no wonder they all died in fatal plane crashes!
    The thing that irks me more than this is all the single ladies emailing me because someone used my email address for a dating site.
    I investigated the matter further because, I was so sick of the emails only to find said person used their own birthday and photo on the dating site they signed my email address up to. Was quite a nasty shock for them when I confronted them.


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