Monday 6 January 2014

So, That Was Christmas Then.

You know me guys- I am proper rubbish at actually wishing you all a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year all on time. That is down to me being disorganised (6,000 emails in one inbox alone that I am yet to read), and trying to keep two mad kids from going crazy whilst stuck indoors down to awful weather.

However, we are yet to need the services of a boat to leave our house (although we were worried for a bit down to the fact we live at the bottom of a big old hill and the drains started to overflow by Christmas Eve), and, from tomorrow when the lazy arse teachers go back (damn their inset days) and the Brats are back at school, normal (for us) service should be resumed.

What will 2014 bring?

Moving, without doubt.

Where? Well, no idea. I feel more displaced than Mary and Joseph right about now. Our Cretin Landlord rang 3 days prior to Christmas expecting to suddenly have architects in with an hours notice (which, if it hadn't been 3 days before Christmas would have been annoying enough) to measure up for our house to be made into rooms (no, we didn't know he wanted to do that, we haven't given notice or indication that we hate Maidenhead that much we are naffing off pronto). On being told politely to eff off, he got all "we're bad tenants" on us.

Yes, bad tenants who live in a house we pay handsomely for with windows I currently keep in their frames using vast quantities of gaffer tape, and which has a bathroom currently growing it's own mould eco system on the ceiling of, not to mention a roof that, yet again, leaks. 

So, I wont go into what I shall be doing to him when we do move, but we all recall the "fish revenge" incident on one such dickhead, don't we?

Yet we have no idea where we are going. I got into the idea of Cornwall but since alot of it appears to be under water right now, and we know not one person who lives there, I am kind of put off a bit. Which made me nostalgic for the good old days in Kent of having friends a plenty and Elder's eldest sis living a reasonable enough to babysit distance away. Except for the fact Gills is a rat hole, even worse than when we moved now, full of pick pockets and crime. 

We looked further out in Broadstairs, Whistable and Ramsgate to find no room at the inn  (or an inn we could afford). You clearly get what you pay for, so the only areas we could reasonably afford (as, let's remember we are scraping through in Berkshire as it is) are the types of places we don't want to end up. Full of crackheads, pickpockets and rat hole flats.

I am, to the point, of putting a map on a dartboard and pining a dart in to choose where we go to. 

Christmas itself was pretty good, Elder made the big sin of forgetting to get me anything. He was made to feel very bad for this, and later on, Mini and I invented the new parlor game of "let's see how much make up we can cover Daddy in before he wakes up and throttles us". A good time was had by all (especially those who played along via Instagram). In our defence, there was a pause in "quality programming" before Doctor Who came on, we were bored. He took it well. 

Mini has driven us crackers with her new One Direction Cds. No, I have no idea why I thought it was a good idea, I now know how my Dad felt on Christmas Day 1994 when he bought me East 17's Steam album, which he allowed me to play at dinner time. Until the sweary part came on and it was banished. Its clearly karma that she is so in love with Harry that she gets very cross indeed when Littlest tells her they should get told off for calling their song "Best Song Ever" as it clearly is not at all. In his view, She's a Rainbow by the Stones is.

New Years Eve was spent with around 80% of the Deegan brother sister clan and their kids, minus Eldest Bro (in Oz- the lucky so and so) and Eldest Nephew. We got back at 2am, the kids who swore they were not tired and wanted to watch Nick Jr fell asleep in 5 minutes flat, and we all stayed in bed until 11am (thank god- gin hangovers plus brats ain't pretty).

So, what you all looking forward to this year? What are o#your predictions?

Let me know in the comments :)

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