I am writing this for Josie at Sleep is for the Weak's Writing Workshop, which due to my useless inability to keep track of blog posts I tend to dip in and out of!
One of the topic suggestions for this week is to discuss the Many Facets of our character which appealed to me the moment I read it.
So here goes, a run down of the public and private persona of one fairly normalish Mummy Blogger.
The Confident Gobshite side.
Yes, its hard to believe (tee hee), but in the blogsphere, I am to put it politely, a bit of a rebel (some would say without a clue), and not so politely, a Gobshite. I know I come across as a bit of a blog bossy boots, and a bit opinionated. Its something I do and am trying to curb, and I would love people to tell me the name and publishing details of any self help tomes about learning when not to say anything. It has always landed me in it. I like that I come across as confident, and I would never want to give that up.
The Scaredy-Cat Side
If only I was as confident in the outside world. I am, believe or not, the person most likely to either not join in a conversation or to be talked over by louder, more aggressive attention grabbers at the table.
Yes, I'm not lying!
My online persona is vastly different to my offline one.
Online I consider myself to have quite a big network, but offline, I probably have about 4 mates who I actually keep in touch with. I have recently gone back to Facebook, and previously I had about 400 friends. But now, I am sticking to a few non blogger people and only the ones I actually give a stuff to know what they are doing.
London Zoo blogger meet up.
I stayed about an hour, and I felt physically sick with the horror of being in a room with that many people.
Even before we went, I nearly decided not to go about 30 times, and even more than that on the actual morning. All the way through the park I wanted to turn back.
I felt out of my depth. Uncomfortable (even though I hasten to add no one made me feel anything but welcome).
I felt I was dressed the wrong way, that I looked scruffy because the rain and the two hour walk.
It gets worse- the first Blogger meet up at the Rainforest Cafe- I actually completely wussed out and didn't go.
My Eco-Baby Self.
Hi, my name is Claire, and I am a Freesian.
No, not the cow.
I am not adverse to jumping in skips (funniest thing my friend once found in a skip when I was with her? A sex toy. Lol).
I do not mind knocking on peoples doors asking if the electrical good, picture, box of books is being thrown and whether I can have it.
I do not go as far as taking food from the back of shops, but I do trawl the reduced with a hawk like, woman on a mission zealousness. I actually had to introduce Elder to the wonders of the reduced.
Best score ever from a skip?
About 6 years ago, in Kent, a lady was putting a pair of very nice matching lamps with shades in a skip that was otherwise empty. I, walking past after visiting a charity shop, asked whether I could be cheeky and have them?
She was very happy to hand them over- then mentioned that she had a whole house full of stuff that was a mere 8 months old, had got bored, and I could take what I wanted. And this was not cheap tat either. It got better- said lady had recently had a baby, and had at least 5 black sacks full of clothing, in my size- would I like those too?
Of course! I was a skint 22 year old on a shite wage! To say my mates loved me and the loot I had aquired is an understatement.
So, if you are on a show string, never be afraid to ask if you spot a possible bargain, whats the worse that could happen- they say no, you say, thanks and off you go!
Funnily enough, the confidence thing and this one, well, I did used to crap my pants, but the idea of having something for nothing was too great!
There's "Mummy" too.
She is a very different animal to Claire.
She does not drink over 2 glasses, as she thinks about the resulting "getting up at 3am whilst still squiffy" and thinks that the idea is horrifying.
She does not smoke, even though she misses a good long drag on a Band H superking with a passion, as she does not want the babies to be able to turn to her in 12 years time on being caught smoking and say "well YOU smoke"- the idea fills her with horror.
She also does not buy half a tonne of the shoes, coats, handbags and clothes she would like to, instead, the kids section usually sidetracks her- after all, how many pairs of flared jeans/boys tees are too many?
She is very sensible.
Well she is (was) the exact opposite of Bree Van Deer Kamp alike above aforementioned Mummy.
She does get ridiculously squiffy, and sings and jumps on trampolines in unsuitable wedges/maxi dresses.
She smokes like the proverbial chimney.
She own(ed) a stupid amount of clothing (our old spare room before kids was a closet. A huge room. Shocking), a silly amount of perilous shoes (mostly not worn), and a unhealthy amount of handbags. One count had my denim jacket collection at a staggering 10. Yes, TEN DENIM JACKETS!
She was thoroughly unsensible. Tee hee, I do miss her, poor cow!
So there you are, I am a contradiction. But those are the faces and sides of me.
I can't wait to read others versions.