Saturday, 28 May 2011

The Saturday Rant

Its time for, well time for something I do believe I'm actually quite innovative in (ahem, cough cough, Vote 20somethingmum!), a good old fashioned rant.

RANT 1: Saturday shopping woes:

I hate, actually despise, shopping in my local High Street on a Saturday. Its always busy (despite an apparent lack of shops), and busy seems to equal mass stupidity.

You know the ad for car insurance where the actors all bump into one another and the voice over says that it wouldn't happen in real life? Well, they obviously hadn't been Saturday shopping in Maidenhead.

Like today, I had forgotten my phone, so rather than going to the supermarket then calling a cab from right near the shop as usual, I had to walk all the way through the centre and outside with 8 bags of heavy shopping.

At which point the world and his dog decided that, to make my life sooo much easier (that's me being sarcastic, by the way), they wouldn't walk around me, no, despite the mile of space either side, they'd walk into me, refusing to move. 

At one point, a woman walked right into me, no shopping in her hands and looking right at me, bashing one bag so badly my Balsamic Vinegar fell out and promptly smashed, missing my foot by a Millimetre. 
Did she say sorry?

Did she hell- she told me to pick my mess up! Well, I wont write down what I said to her, but can sum it up that I went a bit "Chatham" on her. Snobby cow!
How hard is it to be courteous, people of Maidenhead?????

RANT 2: Littlest is even more mentalist than usual

I actually think that both the Bratlings, on hearing they off to Auntie Nurses tonight, have gone on a "be doubly evil" offensive.

They are clever my kids- and being that they are gone from 4pm until 4pm tomorrow (I wish, it'll be more like 10am), they feel that they must pack in as much whinging, screaming and general bad ass behaviour before they go. At which point they'll be their usual Angelic for everyone but us selves. 

I wouldn't mind, its not like we're off out for the new doing anything exciting. No, they're off so we can rip the huge living room carpet up without them getting in the way.

RANT 3: Men and DIY 

I have a new nickname for Elder. Bodge the Builder.
We (sorry I) started the downstairs before Christmas, as I hoped it would cause Elder to get on with it and get the room done before Christmas day itself. That plan worked so well that, when taking those must have Christmas shots of the family, we could only photograph one side of the room, as the other was still without paint or wallpaper.

I have done most of it too- plastering, stripping (the walls I hasten to add, I'm not that good), sanding, you name it and I've learnt how to do it.

However, the final push of sticking paint and paper up has fallen to Bodge himself. We're still not done, 6 months since it was started. So, with a do coming up in the garden, suddenly Bodge has decided to finish. 

In the time he's done not very much at all, my Friend's partner has done her whole house. 

Men. Do It Yourself? Do It Only If I Have Mates Coming more like.

What's your rant?

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