Bloggers: When Its Time to Disregard the Negative and Concentrate on the Positive

I've been around in blogging circles, both parent and otherwise, on and off (briefly off mind) since 2006 (I know right? Before Twitter and everything).

So, I've kind of seen a lot in that time, drama, spats, unhappiness, passive aggressive fuckery, the whole nine yards.

I've joined in with my fair bit of what I like to term "bitch blogger baiting" and I've had differing levels of success. Sometimes I have felt justified (and still do, cough, holiday camp, cough), other times, I have woken up the next day, and thought "well that was a bit daft" and done a mouthing off walk of shame back on to Twitter to apologise.

But you carry on.

In blogging, as in life, you cannot possibly please all the people all the time. Whereas you may have 100,000 followers and hits per month, there will always be a few nay sayers who hate you, your blog, your cat and anything else you hold dear.

Its how we deal with these moaning minis and trolls that counts. Trust me, I have had enough of these to know what I'm talking about. I've been called, thick, unintelligent, a shit blogger, a blagger, mentally unstable, ugly, fat and my own personal fave, a chav. I laughed.

I don't really believe in don't feed the troll, cos to me, in my position, I love them, they are bloody great for stats after all! No I'm kidding. Really.
What I feel more like is that, if this troll is so intent on making you miserable, that actually, rather than slipping away from my blog and my twitter and retreating to a safe distance (or Facebook) the best course of action is to ramp up your blogging. Go out of your way to be all over social media like a persistent rash.

I know far too many bloggers who are lovely ladies (and gents) but each and every week one of them is attacked in some way. Sometimes its a comment, other times a tweet.

However, I think that to write a nasty comment without writing your name smacks of a lack of bravery and acute awareness that they are, in fact, a fuckwit. And that's how we should all see these people. Fuckwits, causing fuckwittage, to be fucking fuckwits and to make people as fuckwitty as they are.

I also feel that, actually, these said fuckwits should be patted on the head, told "there there" and laughed at. Not gotten worked up over. I would even go as far as to say that, should you have a fuckwit at your virtual door, you have truly made it in terms of blogging, its like being in a boyband and having a crazy stalker, but in a virtual sense.

Clearly, such is what you are doing, and doing well, that these much maligned , and clearly delusional, people are that jealous as to try and knock you enough to even out the playing field. Rather than, say, improving their own space online, writing good content, and engaging in a positive sense, they would much rather act in a childish way. They aren't here to make friends, and even if they are, they are so scared of being found out for what they really are behind the cloak of anonymous that they do just that- write anonymous. Or Guest. Or something similar.

Don't get me wrong, we all have bad days when we hate the world and we find ourselves jumping feet first and end up insulting people. Its those who do it all the time and think they are clever about it (when actually, one such troll is so well known in a certain blogging community (cough parent bloggers, cough) that it makes a mockery of her use of "anon") that are the problem.

So, keep doing what you do, write for you and those who like what you write, disregard those who don't and keep on keeping on.

And let those trolls up your stats whenever they like.
 

LOVE LETTERS Dear Nan....

In the first of what I hope will become a regular feature, we have a Love Letter to a family member close to our anonymous poster. They have asked to remain nameless as its quite a hard thing to do, I know myself as it was hard for me to write my feelings to a friend, hence why I am offering anyone who would like to either anonymous or otherwise to write a letter in their own style, however you like, of what you would like to say to that person. The words you find hardest to make clear, or maybe you fell like it would help get your mind together before you have a serious discussion with that person.


You can email me at familypanel@yahoo.co.uk


So, here's our first letter.

Dear Nan,
 
I know I am your first born blood related grandaughter but I think its a bit unfair how you treat my adopted cousin differently to me.
 
D - Age 4
 
 
Dear Nan,
 
When my brother and I are playing games in your garden, why do you always take our cousin's side when he loses?
 
D - Age 7
 
 
Dear Nan,
 
You know that gold handbag you bought me, that I loved? I lied!
 
D - Age 10
 
 
Dear Nan,
 
Why do you treat my Dad differently to my Uncle?
 
D - Age 13

 
Dear Nan,
 
I am not coming to visit because I am sick of hearing how amazing my cousin is. He is a Normal. Human. Being. 
 
D - Age 15
 
 
Dear Nan,
 
Yes, I am hungover - again!
 
D- Age 18
 
 
Dear Nan,
 
Yes I am getting married and no the reason I am not inviting all your brother and sisters is that my Fiance has never met them!
 
D - Age 24
 
 
Dear Nan,
 
I know my cousin's wife is pregnant but I have just given birth to your first great grandchild and she is beautiful.
 
D - Age 26
 
 
Dear Nan,
 
If you say "like you know" one more time, I may actually scream
 
D- Age 28
 
 
Dear Nan, 
 
Yes, I am getting divorced and I am sorry that I wasnt strong like you.
 
D - Age 30
 
 
Dear Nan,
 
My cousin isnt a Saint, his wife is actually a really great person, stop sticking your nose into their business!!
 
D- Age 31
 
 
Dear Nan,
 
I realise you are 85 years old and sometimes you drive me insane but you are my Nan, my Dads mother and my daughters great grandmother, so you can clearly say what you like. I love you.
 
D- Age 32.




Well, a big thanks to our writer, feel free to comment below and I shall pass these on.


And remember, letters are not edited by me, I just found it really useful to write down my feelings to a loved one and am offering my space to do the same to whoever would like to, blogger or otherwise!


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Image: Paul / FreeDigitalPhotos.net