Thursday 9 August 2012

Is It Just Me: Who Wishes Teen Girls Would Leave More to the Imagination?

I was up late this morning, unusual for me but I all but kicked Elder out of bed for his turn with The Bratlings.  I actually think they are more evil in the mornings, having had hours of sleep to recharge, so its nice to sleep in. (Actually, more often than not I can't get back to sleep so end up reading a book).

However, I like to watch Lorraine of a morning and so tuned in to the ITV+1 channel to catch the end.

Today, they were chatting about the latest trend for scarily skimpy shorts. These go beyond (literally) the realm of hot pants that skim the bottom but although they look naughty don't actually show anything other than leg. No, these show bottom too. Alot of bottom. 

The discussion was whether teens should be allowed to wear these things. I can't bear to call them clothing as I've got bigger hankies. And socks. And belts.

It made me think of two such incidents when I happened to be in first Maidenhead and then Slough with the Bratlings.

On Sunday, Elder hopped in the Mini and went off to Kent to visit friends, so he dropped us in the High Street on the way. The Brats love the local Coffee Shop, so in we popped for a drink and a muffin whilst we waited  for the supermarket to open.

In walked two typical specimens of Maidenhead 16 year old girl. Tiny vest top- check. Converse boots or Uggs- check. Jaunty scarf with Union Jack-check. Acres of golden hued skinniness on show and lots of long hair held back by designer sunnies- check, check and check. 

Both had "Maidenhead standard" uniform denim shorts on. My niece has some, and most teens here seem to wear nothing but these or their leather versions come sun, wind or snow. Which is fine.

Except one of them turned round to be served at the till. Revealing that her shorts flashed at least an inch and a half of butt cheek. Whilst I will admit, this was not a flabby bum cheek, neither I, nor the poor elderly gentleman sitting near us who looked on the verge of a coronary wanted to see this at 10.50am of a Sunday morning. 

Littlest saw too, and began snorting muffin out of his nose- "I can see her bum Mummy, look, look, its her bum!" Mini, taking up the theme, continued "look Mummy, she forgot her skirt! Silly girl. You forgot your skirt, I can see your knickers!". 

The girl went bight red, and on collecting her coffee got the hell out of there. 

Cut to Slough and again, we spotted arse wobbling along in front of us. Now I say wobbling because the wearer of these knicker shorts was the same size as me. I am not ashamed to say I have "Mummy arse". I, however keep mine firmly under enough material so I don't inflict it on others.

This lady had no such worries. She wasn't even slightly concerned at the looks of horror and mirth being directed at her or her ample cheeks. 

Really? Really?

Do we need that much information? I have no want or desire to become a gynaecologist, but seriously, these don't exactly spare blushes. And imagine the waxing involved?!

Now, I'm no prude, and there's nothing wrong with flashing a bit of leg, but does flashing this much flesh not leave girls open to all sorts? And what must young guys think- surely to them a girl who flashes her backside is fair game right? 

The problem is, girls are attacked all the time, and sadly, if they happened to be drunk at the time they are seen as "having asked for it". So what happens if they wear these things and are attacked? Its a hard line really.

I know, being a Mum to a daughter, I wouldn't let her out in these at any age. I would want her to respect herself more than that to flash herself in public. But apparently there are girls as young as 12 and 13 buying these things and that just horrifies me that parents allow this to go on. 

Kids should be kids, so to allow them to follow the looks of Rhianna, a grown woman who chooses to sexualise herself on stage and who, at the age she is knows what that means is irresponsible. 

Do you let your kids out in these? What would you think if your teen wanted to wear them?



  1. Nope not just you. Me and Flyfour have a game we play where we try to spot the seasons "trend". Last year it was see through white skirts, this year the dreadful cut off shorts that expose bum and the lining of the pockets... It does make us laugh.

    Tops does own a pair of Daisy Dukes, but she wears them with leggings because she knows that without they are just indecent! And I know people show more wearing a swimming costume or a bikini but on the beach or at a swimming pool that is expected. Walking down your local high street you don't expect to see what God gave you!

  2. Mind you if I was really skinny, I might have a different view ;0)

    1. Oh God, when I was skinnier, like at 13/14/15 up until about 26 I suppose, I was around a size 8 to 10, biggest was a size 12. I have long legs and at that time, not a bad arse but even then, I wore denim cutoffs with opaque tights. You definitely couldn't see my arse cheeks getting an airing! I just think perhaps they should have more self worth, there are classier ways of drawing attention to ones better body parts than flashing skin!

  3. Between the shorts that are more akin to underpants and the midriff tops barely covering the bras, there is nothing left hidden. Eldest is just 5 but if she were a teen I wouldn't be buying these things, and I wouldn't ever let her buy them either. I can only worry for the next fashion statement, things get shorter and more see-through each year by the look of it! x

  4. As a teen once upon a time I would always wear clothes that I liked and have my mothers eyes rolling. There were short skirts and mini skirts that by today's comparison are very demure. I hate the sexualisation of our children and am really shocked at some of the images I have seen posted on facebook and at very young ages. How can we stop it! I really am turning into Mary Whitehouse!

    1. Yes I do feel like I'm suddenly old/turning into Mary Whitehouse overnight!

      I too wore mini skirts, but they always firmly covered my bum. Yesterday I saw another example of this type of fashion. A teen no more than 15 walked past me on my way home. She had on a denim blouse, demurely buttoned up to the neck, long sleeved and tucked in. But then, she had shorts on which you could see almost all the pocket hanging out of they were cut so high, and again, backside in full view, they were almost like a thing at the back! What is the point of wearing a buttoned up shirt?!

  5. Back in the days when I was a teen, those 'things' were called granny pants. They were underwear, leotards or bikini bottoms, and no one in their right mind would have dared to wear them as real clothing. On the street. In public!!
    What's really bad though is when women beyond 30 think they have to join the trend. It just looks as if they missed to put on a vital part of their outfit.

  6. I live in Turkey, in a very touristy area. There are a lot of holidaymakers dressed like that, a lot of men wandering about without shirts (or more disturbingly in t-shirts and speedos.) They come in all shapes, sizes, and ages above 13 (I guess, I haven't seen any young kids in wedgie-shorts) It doesn't bother me. I'm not sure why, its a regular debate on the expat forums here re. whether tourists are disrespecting local muslim culture - somehow the debate always gets around to "and she was so fat / he was so hairy... who want to look at that?" and I kind of think that really the problem people have is that it offends their sense of aesthetic beauty (that sounds far to pretentious, I don't mean it to be, it trips their gut "eughch" response - long finger nails on men do it to me) but that doesn't make it wrong. I have to admit a part of me admires that they feel comfortable and confident enough with their bodies to display them so proudly.
    I don't think there is ever an excuse for men to attack women, even if every one of us decided to abandon clothes all together (too idealistic?) I am not sure of the statistics in Muslim vs western countries on this either. I think in turkey street violence is less but domestic is higher.
    I don't have a teenager daughter, I was never much into that way of dressing myself, I'm not sure how I would have felt if someone had tried to stop me - I think it would have made me angry because I viewed myself as an adult and believed I should have the right to choose irrespective of others opinions. Perhaps the parents who let their kids dress like that have already started viewing them as adults?
    I do know, that I am very glad to have been born in a country that doesn't legally force you to conform to a style of dress.

    1. Of course, some don't like the way people dress because they have issues more towards what the clothing reveals, that's a pretty natural response and I'm all for body confidence.
      I'm more of the attitude that some girls are far too young to be walking round with their bottoms or chests on show.
      Obviously, as a Mum, I have the issue that I have two very young children, who are very observant and have no concept of tact- a bottom bared to them is worthy of pant wetting laughter, pointing and shouts of unabashed hilarity.

      I 100% agree with the sentiment that no matter what a girl wears or does, no one deserves to be attacked. I worked on a website launch for a mutual friend who was gang raped by 3 men after a night out. She waived her right to anonymity, and sadly after trying to raise awareness of negative attitudes towards women who are made to feel responsible for what happens to them, she appeared on TV and received some awful "you asked for it" messages from uninformed people, just because she had been drinking with friends before the attack occurred. So, what a girl chooses to wear shouldn't mean anything other than a few wolf whistles, but sadly there is a culture whereby not everyone thinks that.
      We are lucky in that we can choose what we wear, I totally agree with that too, but, do you find in Turkey among locals that they do not appreciate the way some of us dress? Do they feel tourists should show more respect to the culture?

    2. I think I would have very much felt that tourists should show more respect in the way they dress if it wasn't for the fact I am married to a Turkish man. Before we moved to our touristy area we were in the capital Ankara. In Ankara there is a very oppressive "keeping up with the Joneses" mentality - I rarely saw my husband out in anything less than a suit. But here he feels far freer - he can wander down to the beach without his shirt on, wear swim-shorts 90% of the time and is far far happier and more relaxed. He isn't bothered by the tourists lack of clothes and is generally amused by the things they wear. Somehow I feel that if he as an actual Turk isn't bothered I don't have the right to be. Having said that although the locals and more educated Turkish holiday makers have no problem with the tourists in any state of dress, the people who come to the area from the villages have no concept of this way of life (the outside world would have only been seen on TV, the average wage is only around £400 a month and travel outside the country requires a visa - a vast amount of Turkey is insular to say the least.) To these people women who dress like that are absolutely asking for sex - as in they literally believe that a woman who shows her body in such a way genuinely desires a man to grab her. This is of course where there are problems.
      I am not sure where the cut off point would be for me re. kids in revealing clothes. The age of consent I guess. Kids are kids for much longer in Turkey - those kind of clothes really would only be seen on foreigners. One of my pet hates over here is kids wearing headscarfs at 8 or 9 years old - it is a symbol of womanhood and that you are covering yourself from men - the only men who look at 8 or 9 year olds like that should be locked up.


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