..In Which We See the Queen, Nearly Freeze and Mini Turns Seven

It's been a busy old week in the Lazy Girl House.

Of course, the Easter Break started last Friday (hence the quiet on the page here) and it brings two weeks of trying to work out what on earth to do with two fussy Brats when the weather is crap, you are looking for a new house to move to and are skint (or not skint, more saving furiously to pay for aforementioned move).

On Monday, I spotted a thread on a local Gossip group regards Queen Elizabeth and a State Visit. Despite living in Maidenhead for 6 years now, and Windsor being about 10 minutes away, we have never been over during a State Visit or a Changing of the Guard. I've been Charity Shop scouring but that's it.

However, Mini is now an avid reader- including reading over my shoulder when I'm on the PC. This is not good in most cases. Anyone who has written me on Facebook or Twitter knows I like a good curse word like the Celt I am (partly. Cough) and I do subscribe to some quite sarcastic and adult of humor groups on Facebook too.

This time was fine though.

Mini loves the Royals even more than your friendly neighbourhood pensioner, she fell in love the second she saw Kate in her wedding dress and has not stopped since. On seeing that the Queen herself was riding through Windsor, on a day when she was off school well, that could only be seconded by the slim chance of her finding out Harry Styles was in our local Waitrose- she needed to be there.

I was told that the Queen, Charles, Camilla and Phillip (who as an aside, Elder swears blind once gave him a lift to get petrol when he ran out in Windsor Great park one early morning many moons ago) would go past at 11am, so we should definitely get there before 10am to avoid being lost in the crush.

We were all going to go, but as he seems to be doing more of recently, Littlest decided he didn't want to get dressed, get his teeth washed, or do a thing he was told, so Mini and I left at 9.45 to get the train. Cutting it fine but I thought most of it is the atmosphere and I'd either hoist her onto my shoulders or we'd make use of her angelic face to get to the front.

We had to change at Slough, and eventually ran from Windsor station to the High Street at 10.45. I was quite surprised that one side of the road was packed, but the other, on the side of the Castle, was pretty fine for space, so we hopped across the road and took up position between a couple from Maidenhead, and a group of Americans.

By 11am, we were looking around for signs of activity, but there were none. It was also getting pretty overcast too, and we had dresses on- it was boiling in Maidenhead but flipping freezing in Windsor.

At 11.15, I was getting more concerned, Mini was getting bored, and she was shivering. The Maidenhead lady remarked that this was an error she made the first time she had come over to watch the Queen (from the comfort of her stool and her blanket), as its like a wind tunnel. She also said the Queen wasn't late but was passing through at 12.30.

At this point, with Mini getting colder and colder, and thus bored, I thought, as we had over an hour, we'd run across to H&M and grab a pair of jeans and a jumper for her.

Except the Police had closed the barrier. We were trapped.

At about 11.30, we were treated to a marching band, which cheered Mini up a little, but she was o cold bless her.



By the time the Queen went past (twice- once in her car, then in her carriage), Mini was lying on a bench, cold, miserable, tired and having borrowed a blanket from a kind OAP.



Luckily, a lovely Police officer walked past and saw her, asking how long we'd waited, and on hearing what had happened, he opened the barrier for us, giving us an escort into McDonalds for hot chocolate. He told Mini if anyone moaned, as she as pretty, he'd tell them she was a relative of Kate, which cheered her up no end.

With a hot chocolate inside, she was much happier, so we had a wander round the shops, then off home.

Yesterday was her seventh Birthday, which she has been excited about. We have things planned for the weekend so it was spent with us at home, (we're off to London on Sunday), but she did very well.

She was lucky enough to receive a scooter (she outgrew her last one at the end of the summer, and this time we had to buy one for age 9-12 as she's so tall), a RoboPuppy (annoying thing but teaches her maths on the sly) and a Badge It set (instant utter love as she adores crafty things). We went into town and had a coffee shop lemonade, and, after asking what she'd like as a little present, she bought herself a magazine with nil polish in it, and bought a lovely small bunch of flowers.

We had a home made cake (which she helped Ice) and a birthday tea of her fave foods.

A lovely quiet day but she was very happy and snuggled on the sofa in the evening.

I shall report back on our jaunt to London (her first outside of a buggy) and our thoughts on the Museum of Childhood on Monday.

Happy Birthday Mini! (In Pictures)

"I am 5"

Unwrapping gifts

Birthday wishes

Birthday Dress

Cake

Birthday Party Countdown- 1 Month to Go!

It is Mini's 5th Birthday next month, and now she's at school, she's excited about it and has been for months.

Literally, since just after we threw the last piece of Christmas wrapping paper out for the recycling, she has been asking about her birthday. What are we going to do for it? Can she have a party? Can she have a big cake? You get the idea.


Over the weekend, we finally sat down to officially plan the party itself. We don't mind her having a small party, after all it's a bunch of easy to please 4 and 5 year olds, so a bit of cake and a couple of rounds of pin the tail on the donkey like days gone by parties from my youth will be OK, right?

Reflections on the Last Night of My Twenties

Tomorrow, I turn 30.


I'm quite shrugged shoulders about the whole thing. Some of my ex-classmates have been filled with dread and trepidation at the thought of turning 30, but to my mind, it's not the end of our lives, it just another year, another birthday. Mind you, when I'm 40 it may be a different story.


So, what have I learnt in my twenties? What am I going to change in my thirties?

Dear So and So Good Old Daily Fail

Its Friday! Its Dear So and So time!


Dear Birthday


Yes, you were slightly neglected yesterday. Having you fall on a Thursday, the most crappest day of the week, was unfortunate. But come Saturday, we'll pretend its my birthday again and really celebrate. Minus the kids obviously.


Here's to the last year of my Twenties
C


Dear Mini


Don't let the mean kid at playschool spoil it for you. Its hard being your age, not understanding that if someone is nasty to you its fine to shout at them and stand up for yourself. Please don't let it ruin your happiness, when you're not at playschool, he wont come to our house, or your Aunts house, I promise. It makes me mad for you being so sad all the time. Just remember that this boy is just jealous at how gorgeous and well liked and confident you are. 


Love you
Mummy


Dear Littlest


I am glad you have finally decided to sleep through, frankly if you hadn't Mummy would probably have collapsed from lack of sleep. Now can you please use the potty? 


Love you baby
Mummy


Dear Elder


The excuse "I can't hear the kids so why should I get up" is not good enough, you git. Sort it out or else.


Cheers
Claire


Dear Daily Fail


Lol (She says whilst typing on the computer and half watching the kids)


Regards
Ms C (Unmarried Mother of 2, not yet a home owner) Maidenhead


Dear Blog World


Debate. Look it up. You can't wax lyrical about your love of debate, then shout people down because you don't like them. Seriously, I nearly wet myself with mirth at that yesterday, even more so than the Daily Fail article. 
Also look up double standards whilst you're there. 


PMSL


20SM




Dear Blog


WTF am I going to call you next year when I turn 30? I may have to lie about my age. It works for Joan Rivers....


29 Year Old Mum


Dear Readers


You rawk (as always) 


20SM 

THE GALLERY: Happy Birthday Baby Boy

The Gallery this week has a great theme within a theme, as Tara is taking a leaf from Blip Foto (whereby photography lovers take and upload a photo per day for a year, can be anything they like), and has asked us to randomly capture a photo from today, the 29th August 2010.

Now, thats a really great day for me, as it just so happens to be Littlest's 2nd Birthday today. And for a boy who nearly never made it home from hospital (more about that here) its always just that little tiny bit extra special to see how far he's ome from then.

So, for my entry, here is Littlest, on his second precious birthday.

He got hold of the Dips from his birthday tea! He's a little scamp so the picture illustrates that perfectly.

Happy Birthday Edward xxx

When His Friends are not Your Friends.

It was Elders birthday this weekend (he would like me to lie and say he was 21, or even 31, but nope, he was 41) and he had been saying for weeks how he wasn't bothered.

He laments that, when you get to his age, birthdays don't have the same meaning.Its just another year. Or so I was told.

Back in January, and after getting a call from his lovely friend of 20 odd years whilst I was out without Elder, the thought struck that maybe we could organise a surprise birthday party for him. He spent all of last year after his birthday moaning that on turning 40 he hadn't found some of the mates he'd have liked there, and within weeks they all appeared on Facebook.

So I and Lovely 'I' decided to hatch a sneaky plan to get all his old mates together at our house, and so messages where sent over Twitter and through various family members. I had even come up with a way of getting him out the house- by his elder sisters asking him to babysit at one of their homes so they could go to some party (hence then they could be swankily dressed!). Meanwhile, we would all be sorting the house, getting everyone hidden out the back etc. So then one of his sisters or Brothers in law would pop back to the house (and an alternative babysitter would go round the back out of sight) and bemoan that the party was cancelled and offer him a lift home. Then they would get back and hey presto "Surprise". Yay!

No, so not Yay.

Elder and I were sharing a bottle of wine about a fortnight later, and I asked him about his birthday. And he spent about 10 minutes telling me he really just didn't want to make a fuss and couldn't be bothered. He even mentioned how annoyed he'd be if anyone went OTT.

Hmmm.

So, with messages pinging back again to cancel, it was decided (by him, I'd learned my lesson) that he would have a good old fashioned family meal. He was quite looking forward to it- his family are big on, well family, but hadn't gotten together for a big family meal in a restaurant for years.

But that had to be cancelled as his sister the nurse is in Berlin, and left the day before his birthday.

With a shrug, he was happy to have a home cooked meal and lunch out with me and the kids.He said he might even get 'Lovely I' (LI) over for a few beers and some music.

Off he went on Saturday, at 6pm, to meet LI and have a game of pool in the pub before coming home for dinner.

By 9pm, I thought boys will be boys so had some dinner myself.

Then he walked in with LI, his Brother (who "happened" to be strolling by) and his really old mate since school, M the Twat as I shall refer to him. Or M the T if I get lazy!

I had only met him once before. 

Nurse Sister, when I told her who Elder had gone to meet from the station on that occasion reacted by asking incredulously "what's he want to see that freak for??," so I was dubious. 

But my word, nothing prepared me.

Freak doesn't even begin to describe this person.

He obviously is not a fan of women. Or, more specifically, me.

He was soooooo rude! In the end, Elder and I fell out because of the guys attitude problem. I am always courteous to Elder's mates, so I couldn't understand why he was so off with me. I couldn't wait for him to leave. And it wasn't just me. 

That same weekend LI and his missus LE came over for Sunday dinner, and Elder and LI went off to grab some veg and bits for it. Leaving LE and I, as well as the Tots and LI and LE's son, and M the T in our house.

At which point M the T decided to go on and on and on about sci-fi, even though both LE and I told him we had no idea what he was going on about, but nodding politely anyway. He was not happy about this at all.

Then he couldn't find his hat.

Mini throws calmer strops when she can't find the Teddies.

So both of us girls thought he was a weirdo. We both said at the time how uncomfortable he made us feel.

When he left, I'd asked if he would mind Elder waiting until Mini went to bed (in half an hour) as she gets upset if he isn't there to say night to, before he walked to the station with him.

Well, you'd think I'd asked him to wait a fortnight, as he proceeded to have a right go at me about having not seen Elder in 20 years (like it was my fault) and how I was being out of order. In the end I just told them to go, if it was so important they couldn't wait half an hour, and Elder didn't get back from this walk to the station until 10pm. I was really annoyed with him in the morning, and asked what station he'd walked him to that it took that long, and he did apologise, but his mate continued to be off with me when he phoned to speak with Elder. I just thought he was an arsehole, and silently hoped it would be another 20 years before they got together!

So when he walked in on Saturday, I was a bit peed off that Elder hadn't warned me. 

Now as I said, I was eating dinner, so as they all piled in, I said hi to LI , Elder's brother and M the T. But for him, that wasn't good enough. I actually think he wanted me to do some Glee-a-like cheer and kiss his feet. He stood over me (and I hate when people do this- my Mum used to do this to make herself look bigger) and demanded a better hello, saying how I was obviously not pleased to see him. He got all that from "Hi". Issues or what? But I ignored it, and cooked them all dinner, then went to bed.

But he continued to be rude all Sunday. He was last up, and stomped about the room (not a morning person then).

He was rude to Elder's brother when he told him that a hair of the dog was not allowed because the children. He then thought he was oh so funny- I was trying to get past him in the back room, which is quite tight for space cos all the stereo equipment in it. But rather than moving back, he kept moving closer towards me,so the space was getting tighter, and grinned moronically at me.

He'd already shown how arsey he could be- he woke the kids up on the Saturday. Whereas everyone else is really respectful of the kids being in bed, and keep doors where music is playing shut, and creep about downstairs, M the T took phonecalls where he left the noisy room, and came out to the middle room and shouted top level at the person on the other end, even though LI came and told him to keep it down- he had to get Elder to tell him before he went in the kitchen. So Mini was awake until gone midnight. And Littlest was woken up by his noise 4 times. And I had no sleep. (Funnily enough, he said he was having a row with his daughter. Who called him a freak).

Then, even though everyone else got the idea that Littlest was having a nap on Sunday, what did M the T do? Immediately crank the stereo up- and every time I turned it down, he cranked it up again.

It says it all that when LE came over to pick LI up, she took one look at M the T and whispered to me "Oh no, not him".

I ended up trying to tell Elder what was going on, but he didn't see it- and said I was being paranoid. So I went upstairs and refused to come down. And did they save me any dinner- no. Elder was looking after the kids, and M the T and Elder's brother proceeded to demolish the whole roast chicken, a tray of roast spuds, veg and gravy. Its only through luck the kids got any dinner. I had a sandwich. 

So in the end, by 5pm, I had enough. I came down and kicked M the T and Elders brother out- and yet again he was rude to me. 

So, what do you do when his friend isn't yours, and is really nasty? 

Have you been there- if so what did you do?

Answers below please!

*photos from Google Images