Mini's Election Confusion

She may only be 3, but Mini often sits with me in the morning on the sofa, wrapped in a cosy blanket, drinking her milk while I try and wake up using a bucket of coffee and the BBC News (its not cos I'm posh or Midle class that I watch BBC Breakfast instead of GMTV, I just find GMTV really irritating. And my Mum watches it).

So, she has seen a lot of stuff on the election, and unlike me, isn't bored of it.

But, she may not have quite got the idea of whats going on, if some of her comments are anything to go by.

These include:

• She thinks that the reason the parliament (or partymate) is hanging (not hung) is because no one got 326 SHEEP. I told her its seats, but she swears blind its sheep. 

Can you imagine what the Commons would look like if this was true? And who would make the best Shepherd? Add your own Flock jokes here!

• Nick Clegg is not Nick Clegg. Oh no. According to Mini, he is Michael Jackson. 

Now, while I agree that most people in the country had no idea who Nick Clegg was before the Debates on TV, Mini refuses to believe his name is Nick. And that he was never in the Jackson 5. I'd love to see Nick with a spangly glove! Maybe he'll be Moonwalking into Number 10 after all! She always, without fail, points at the telly and shouts "Michael Jackson, Michael Jackson" when he's on TV.

• Gordon Brown lives in a castle. With The Queen.

Not sure where Prince Philip fits in, but yes, when I told her that Gordon Brown was going to have to move house soon like we are, as a way of making her see that we aren't the only people mad enough to move at short notice, I told her he lived at 10 Downing Street, as that's where the Prime Minister lives. But as he is not going to be Prime Minister, he has to move. But she told me that no, he lives in a Castle. With the Queen. God Knows where she got that from.

• The Liberal Democrats are actually called the Ibral Demacats.

So, not only are they run by Michael Jackson, they are called something completely different to what we think they are.

It's not just Mini though.

We had to walk past a Polling booth on our way to pick Mini up from Playschool, and we had Lovely I an with us, on the pretext of helping us pack when we got home. But we couldn't find any boxes.

Anyway, the very posh old lady and old man manning the desk asked us if we were voting as we walked past. Now, I'd have shaken my head and carried on, but Lovely Ian is a bit of a joker, and is very convincing. Noticing that the people were stupidly posh, very obviously Tory voters, Ian told them he had only voted once, and he had voted BNP, but it wasn't popular with the people at the Voting Booth so he thought that was why he hadn't got a voting card. They looked like they had swallowed something very unpleasant.

With that we walked on, got round the corner, and fell about. Poor old people! Ian, by the way, has never voted for the BNP, just in case you were concerned! He voted Labour in 1997 when Blair got in, but that's about it!

While on the subject of Voting, I'd like to canvass some votes for GLOWSTARS, URBANVOX, MY DADDY COOKS,  BRINGING UP CHARLIE and MELLOW MUMMY for a MAD AWARD. Well done for being shortlisted guys!

Forget Our Election, It's The Aussies I'm Interested In...

Yes, I know I made this an Election babble free zone, as I find it inherently boring and grown up (so OK, yes I'm 28, but it's my blog and I will pretend to be a teenager if I want to), and because I wouldn't have a clue who to vote for anyway, but I had to blog this one!

Firstly it's not boring Brown, Calamity Clegg or Catatonia Inducing Cameron who has sparked my interest, hell no.

Its someone from across the pond in Australia which had me laughing out loud this morning when I logged into my Yahoo news feed (see, can be grown up sometimes. No, I'm lying I actually pay more attention to the Entertainment gossip).

It seems that us regular random folk aren't the only ones who find Twitter and the ability it allows to follow people you've never met such a great tool.

A certain Prime Minister thought it would be very "Hip" to have a Twitter account. Lets face it, Kevin Rudd is not the first Golden Oldie to think that a Twitter account is the key to electoral success. All the main parties over here, and some of the lesser ones too, all have Twitters, and post what I suppose they think is a witty little message to show they are human and not some scary political person. Not that I find them remotely scary in the slightest, more inherent liars actually. But I digress.

So, Mr Rudd, Prime Minister of Oz, friend to Rolf Harris (or I'd imagine he'd have met him) has his little feed, and its all going quite hunky dory. 

He had been followed by other Twitter users, and so had, as is the usual etiquette (or should that be Twiterquette) followed them back.

As Littlest would say (and has been saying repeatedly since Mini taught him to) Oh- Ohhhhhh!

It would seem that poor old Kevin didn't quite get the idea that its generally a good idea to check out the tweets, at the very least, of some of these followers.

And it turns out that the media, who probably rubbed their hands with glee, found that he was inadvertently following quite a few ahem, naughty sites!

Including some exhibitionist webcam girlies, a porn blogger (maybe that's who the people who visit my blog looking for some very strange things which I definitely do not blog about are looking for!), a Gay Holiday resort in Phuket, and even a lady whose Tweet Picture was of her boobies and her hands in handcuffs. 

Oo-er indeed!

Poor guy! I felt so sorry for him as I wept tears of laughter onto my Vegemite on toast (and I'm not making that up, I was actually eating Vegemite!).

So, if your Elderly relatives decide to join the Interwebwork (as I heard an old lady refer to it as in my library the other week), warn them that Twitter may not be a good idea!

Whoever you vote for (and God Knows how you decided who to vote for), have a great week!