Is It Just Me: Who Thinks Love Makes Women Gullible?

*Be warned, the following post may be just a little bit controversial. Sorry!


As I sit waiting for Littlest to come home from nursery, enjoying my last half hour of adult TV, I am watching yet another story of a woman taken in by an online con man, who took her in completely and emptied her bank account in the process.


This isn't the first story I've heard on TV or in magazines about similar women who have also been conned into giving out cash to men who they wrongly believe love them.


As a woman, I like to think I'm pretty savvy. I'm not gullible enough to believe the spam emails I get in my inbox daily would lead to actual true love. So what makes a reasonably normal, clever woman fall into the gullible trap?

5 Songs Meme

See, now, I may be the resident blogger to have on your quiz team for the music round, but these musical memes always require lots of thought on my part. Having a vast jukebox instead of a brain isn't always a good thing when it comes time to pick songs for a meme. I love lots of songs, but, as I mused on Google+ yesterday, I wouldn't necessarily advocate living life by Peaches, by The Stranglers, or Bike by Pink Floyd.

The Love List

Yes, its time for a list which I will start off trying to do once a month and then will completely forget about (until someone asks me when the next one is coming on Twitter), or I will get bored by. Come on, help me out here, I have such a crap boredom thresh hold that I find films hard to cope with- by 45 minutes in unless something really captivates me I get up and grab a book. Don't even ask me about subtitled films, Elder has tried several times to get me to watch Amelie, but I just can't be bothered to read whats going on and my french is very poor.

That said, if anyone wants to join in with The Love List, feel free! I may even make a badge. If I can remember how to.

Anyway, here's what I am offering a big thanks for to whoever makes good stuff happen. The nice stuff in life.

1) The Bratlings and what they say:

In my house, Action Man is not Action Man. He is Action Dude. He even has his own song, which is loosely based on the old 80s ad theme, which went "Action Man the greatest hero of them all", but ours is " Action Dude he is a Dude who is a Dude". Yes it needs work. The cutest thing is Littlest's way of really elongating the dude bit, so its exaggerated. Bless.

2) Sunshine!

I know its only been here for two days (well it has in Maidenhead), but yay, its sunny. Not warm, granted, but fine enough for me to disregard my parker and buy sandals. I hate wearing shoes, boots or trainers, so the buying of sandals marks a change in my general mood. More up beat.

3) Twitter

I hate to say it, but I am a certified (or certifiable, perhaps) Twitter addict. However, I'm not big on the whole following celebs. The only interest I have in them is when they look fat in Heat (tee hee, Cheryl Cole in this weeks edition). No, what I love is the power of the thing, to help raise awareness of new musical talent, new authors, new ways of thinking. When Japan got hit so badly, and we would previously not known what to do to help, within minutes everyone was reposting and linking to charities you could donate to. Also, it was an affective way of people caught up in the disaster to let worried loved ones know they were safe. I follow a Japanese blogger, who happens to create cheats for a game I play on Facebook, and was worried that she may have been hurt (or worse), but within a few hours she was able to let us know she was safe and well.

Whenever I feel like the day is just that little bit too long, I can guarantee that I can log in and there will be something to make me laugh.

4) Babies

Everyone is having babies, I know its spring but blimey! However, being of the mind that 2 is quite enough, its lovely to see all the ickle baby pics on Facebook. Looking, mind you. That'll do me!

5) Freedom!

After the chat at Christmas with the Sisters in law,(OK I chickened out and told Elder to have a word. And he chickened out and asked his eldest sister to have a word) we've been able to go out without the kids. I love the Bratlings so much, but when you're with them 24/7, you need a bit of peace, a bit of time to be a couple again. Not just Mummy and Daddy. And its not like we go out clubbing until 3am. In fact, when it was Elder's birthday this weekend, we went out, had a game of pool (I nearly beat him), a few drinks in a few bars, then decided to jump in a cab and get a take away delivered. If you don't like the music they play in the pub, I say go home and play your own!

Speaking of which:

6) Mad conversations in a cab

We were waiting for quite a while for our cab on Saturday. It was 9pm in the town centre, so no surprise. As we were waiting, a young guy asked for a cab at a bar right near our house, so we let him jump in our cab when it came. Obviously, we got chatting and he had come to try and chat up a girl he really liked, even though he wasn't from  the area. Bless. He asked us our tips for being a couple, which was funny, and turned out his Dad was a Gills fan too. He wouldn't let us pay our share of the cab, so I really hope he got the girl. Bless.

7) Mini will eat!

Yes, the fussiest of fussy mares has finally decided what she likes to eat other than sweets and cheerios. My Girlie has discovered a love for good old fashioned Macaroni Cheese, made with ham (and not macaroni. She didn't think it was pasta so we use the stuff we usually buy), as well as Pizza as long as I make them myself. Her fave is sausage, ham and salami on top with lashings of cheese. I know they aren't perhaps the healthiest of options, but its better than her refusing to eat.

8) Wardrobe Love

Have you ever gone to your wardrobe and hated every single thing in it? I did two weeks ago. I finally managed to ditch the wardrobes of doom, which had gotten so dangerous and precarious that when I wanted to open them in the morning, I had to step back in case they fell on me. Not good. So I bought a pair of very nice new ones, and being that these were smaller, set about having a clear out.

Said clear out resulted in me owning 2 pairs of jeans and a few tops. Not great for a working wardrobe. The thing is, the things I had that I didn't like were still in good nick and perfectly serviceable. So the pile went to the Land of EBay, and I made a tidy sum. It started a mass clear out, so then I had the fun of replacing the stuff I'd gotten rid of with stuff I like. Which means I now have space in the cupboard and a wardrobe of stuff I actually like, which fits.

9) Cybermummy excitement

Its soon people, its very soon, and I cannot wait to see you all. Especially with the party that Mocha Beanie Mummy has promised us for afterwards.....

10) Going to London

I am a lazy cow. I am always getting invited to do's in London, and I wuss it at the last minute. Well, not anymore. I intend to go to the opening of an envelope if it means I can network. I love London, but I get quite intimidated by the idea of tubes and places and I've always thought it was quite a scary place. However, if I want to get somewhere with this here blogging lark, I need to go shake some hands!

Bravery, people, that's the buzz word. Feel the fear and do it regardless.

What are you loving?

IMAGES:
Image: nuchylee / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image: Idea go / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Valentines Day: Tips for Surviving a Long-Term Relationship

And yes, I am kidding! I am in no way actually able to give any proper relationship tips, at all, however, here is a jokey list made up by Elder and I at the weekend whilst out after 6pm without the children. In a pub. Playing pool! 

Elder and I have been together for 11 years. Christ only knows how we've managed that. So, maybe I do know something about relationships. Although prior to Elder the longest I'd been "out" with someone was 10 months!

So, here's some ideas!

• Argue

It may seem like a weird starting point, but Elder and I argue. Not to the point of scaring the children, but we do quite enjoy a lively disagreement. Fellow bloggers think I'm bad at not letting a subject go if I feel I'm in the right, but they should ask Elder really how far that will go. Like waiting until he's asleep before covering him in make up. Or by taking a picture of him made to look like he is cuddling a toy and has just let a baby bottle fall from his mouth. Then posting said pics on Facebook for his friends to laugh at. 

I do think that, as a couple, if you spend too much time biting your tongue and agreeing, its not healthy, and you'll end up hating each other for not being able to have your own opinion. I'd hate for anyone to have to agree with me for appearances sake.

• Have shared interests

We do. In fact, it was, on day 1 of meeting, we had fun discussing music, comedy and food. Even though on that day I had no TV nor stereo, much less records, he was very impressed at my knowledge of "cool" (in our view) music, such as the Beatles and the Stones. If you have nothing in common, well, it's surely going to make for limited conversation?

• Make sure you both have friends the other likes

I have to admit that, unfortunately, I am not the biggest fan of all of Elder's friends, and there are some of mine he's not too keen on either. But we do have mates who we both like, in fact we have a few who started off as an individual friend and who have ended up being liked by both.

• If you don't like something, say

Surprisingly (not) I have no problems with telling Elder if I am unhappy about something (usually, like today I call him a rude name in my Facebook status). If you feel like you can't be honest with each other, then you really need to ask why.

• Share some separate interests

Yes, in the same way as you should have interests in common, I find its always good to have somethings just for you. Its not rude, but sometimes you need a bit of space, elsewise, we'd drive each other mad! Its in the same way as David Walliams and Matt Lucas showed in their Come Fly With Me couple who were both Pilots, steadily driving each other mad. Elder has his fogey raves in cold and damp fields. I have my blog conferences and such in nice warm buildings not requiring the wearing of wellingtons. Do we resent each others interests? Nope. Bit of space is a grand thing.

• Be understanding of the little things

By little things I mean the little eye contacts which you can make and the other half will know  that the eye flick means " I'm so bored of this conversation, help". Or "I'm really annoyed that the kids have made a mess, please tell them before my head combusts". Or "when you go to the shops, I'll tell you not to buy sweets for me, but please say you forgot and buy some anyway". This can also manifest itself in the things we say. Definitely one for the boys to learn.

• Don't over analyse

In other words, if after the first couple of years he doesn't buy you a Valentines card, or forgets your birthday, don't stress it. Men are useless at remembering dates. Even though the TV and shops have had pink hearts on them since late December, he will still forget. Men don't think they need to provide trinkets etc to prove their worth to you. A nice cup of coffee of an afternoon says the same to me as a card, any day!

So, there you have it. Some tips from me to you. And trust me, if I can manage to stay with the same man for 11 years without driving him mad, anyone can!

Image: Sura Nualpradid / FreeDigitalPhotos.net