Is It Just Me: That Wants to See An End to Mum Shaming Over Breastfeeding.....

...And no, not just in the "I breastfed so I am better than you" sense of the word.

I will remind any tits that I have done both- one breastfed child for one whole year (Mini) and one not a hope down to being very premature (Littlest). Again, I can see both sides.

This morning, the press has been full of two breastfeeding related stories.

Firstly, Facebook, who for some time now has played some very double standards over boobie pics which they deemed acceptable (very nice, often tan, impressive norks) and one's it will be shocked by and thus ban you for (breastfeeding norks and those post-cancer).

We have all shouted at them for a long time. At least with the likes of Instagram, all boobies, bouncy nice ones or one with babies attached have been an outright no.

So, finally Facebook have realised that all tits, for the titillation of teenage boys or those used to empower are all good actually. And of course, if you are going to have one's which are there just to perve over, bikini'd or otherwise, you are going to get grief should baby feeding offend you.

Hurrah!

Gratuitous Norks :)*

I loved breastfeeding, and I do feel its time it was celebrated for those who do it. Not of course to shove down the throats of those who choose not to, but it's a natural thing and its free and lovely.

Its tiring, of course, and when they get teeth, well, I think that has scarred me mentally and physically for life (at one point I felt I could put a ring through the marks Mini and her sharp little gnashers caused), but its not dirty and rude, and you certainly shouldn't be made to feel like you have to feed in a loo or be cast out of a shop for feeding your wee one.

Then we have story number two which always comes up and always makes me shake my fist.

Some boffins have decided that, after coming back to a set of children who were breastfed or otherwise 30 years ago, they have proof that the longer breastfeeding occurs then the more likely your child is to go on to get a good job and grades (and apparently, no doubt although not voiced, then join Mensa and be less likely to wear a tracksuit and go on Jezza Kyle).

For gawds sake.

Yes, whilst the people you happened to test oh wise boffins, have ended up with careers etc, there are other factors which aren't mentioned. Did they come from upper class backgrounds? Did they go to private school? Were they in a supportive and well off enough to send them through higher education family?

I was breastfed. I didn't go to Uni. I did OK at school but I went to a comprehensive and no doubt there were those who were brighter than me.

Mini was breastfed and she's about in the middle for her peers. She does really well at reading and writing, but she gets  a little intimidated by maths (like me. Nature I feel).

Littlest wasn't breastfed and despite having time off for illness that you'd think would put him at a disadvantage, he's doing exceptionally well and is above average on most subjects.

There is enough pressure on new parent's, especially Mum's to be superhuman. I was made to feel like a failure by a Nurse at Littlest's SCBU for failing to breastfeed. They never gave me medication which would have helped (which I've since found out about but knew nothing about at the time). At a time when I already felt like shit for in my view "failing" to protect him and birth him at  the regular 40 weeks, being made to feel like a double failure didn't help my confidence.

If you breastfeed, great stuff, no matter if you do it once and give up, if you do it for a few months, or a year. If you can't down to health or jobs or any other reasons, then there's no reason why these bloody boffins should make you feel like crap and like your little cherub will fail at life as you've failed to nurse.

I say, dear Boffins, how about concentrate on something worthwhile like curing diseases rather than kicking Mums for no good reason with so called "studies".

Kids are kids. Bring them up right, and they will thrive.

Now let's have an end to this stupid debate.

*Image courtesy of stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Comment: Mum's and Personal Choice

Another day and another set of "experts" have found yet another way of causing Mum Guilt.


This time, not unusually, its Breast Feeding related, which is hardly a surprise.


Apparently, for ages and ages us Mummies have been told we should Breast Feed exclusively for the first 6 months of our babies life. This is exactly what I did with Mini. 


This was in the days when as a rookie Mummy, even in pregnancy, I read and researched every guideline almost daily (in fact it became an obsessive compulsion. Almost like my Twitter usage now but in a much more unhealthy way) and followed it to the absolute letter. And if my longed for girl needed nothing but Mummy Milk, then so be it. 


In fact, I breastfed Mini until she was 1. Even when her teeth came through. Even though I couldn't ever express so had to do all night feeds for 3 months and didn't go out for an evening, or longer than an hour in the day without her, for the whole of that year. 


I loved breastfeeding, loved the closeness, and very rarely got the hump with it. I also liked that I could eat family sized pizzas and huge helpings of Chinese take away without putting on a pound (in fact I actually think I looked at my best then- skinny of waist but massive of bosoms!).


Mini finally started having home made food bang on 6 months old. I often wondered if she was in need earlier, but no, the guidelines and the Midwife told me not to so I went along with it.


Cut to when Littlest was born, and of course he was born at 28 weeks, and hard as I tried, I had no milk. I cried, I was so upset.  So, Littlest had to have formula- most babies in SCBU do end up having this milk, and, frankly at the time there are more important things to worry about.


By then, I wasn't so obsessed on the "rules" set out by the experts. I felt disillusioned by them, as I had followed the guidelines, and he was still early and very sick. With that in mind, when Littlest came home, I decided to let him tell me what was what. And if he felt hungry, and I felt he was needing it, I would give him solids.


With Littlest, I knew- he started to be grouchy in the day (he still is if he's hungry even now), and waking up for a night feed again. By his corrected age (which is what we go by as do the medical people), he was meant to have been 4 months old. 


With the knowledge that he was hungry and it was upsetting him, I gave him, once again, home made food, mashed up. Immediately he went back to happy chappy, sleeping through.


With what is being said today from these experts, we now shouldn't Breastfeed exclusively for 6 months, but should give solids at 4 months. The scaremongering thing though, and the thing that a new rookie Mum who was as worried and easily guilted out as I once was, is the reasons they have given.


Apparently, if you don't, or haven't given solids at this point, your child could have allergies. It could have less Iron intake then they need. Finally, it may stop them having a healthy sleep pattern as Breastfed babies wake more in the night.


What a load of speculation that is. 


As I said above, I have one breast fed exclusively, and one formula fed and weaned at 4 months baby.


Who has the allergies?


Littlest- Mr Weaned at 4 months baby. Very severe allergy too- if he eats fish or peas (including chick peas), he goes into anaphylatic shock. He was the child who was woken by his hunger for food.


Mini has no allergies at all, not one. Not even hayfever. She was a great sleeper by 3 months, rarely waking in the night. She is rarely ill, I think in close to four years she has been ill 3 times. 


You know what- this isn't a post to say "You must breastfeed". Hell no.


This is a post for all you rookie Mums. All you Mums living with the "Mum Guilts". 


This is your baby. This is your call. 


If you have an expert give you the law as it stands at that point (because according to a friend of mine with more than one child, in between her eldest and youngest the information from experts had changed 3 times), nod politely, tell them you quite agree. Then if it doesn't suit you, disregard.


No one knows your child like you do. We have an intuition to our children, I truly believe that. Unless its something which could make them ill, just remember, we carried them, we brought them into the world without their help, I think we have a damn good idea what's best.


Breast or bottle? Its all good! 


Down with Mum Guilt I say!