Is It Just Me: That Wants to See An End to Mum Shaming Over Breastfeeding.....

...And no, not just in the "I breastfed so I am better than you" sense of the word.

I will remind any tits that I have done both- one breastfed child for one whole year (Mini) and one not a hope down to being very premature (Littlest). Again, I can see both sides.

This morning, the press has been full of two breastfeeding related stories.

Firstly, Facebook, who for some time now has played some very double standards over boobie pics which they deemed acceptable (very nice, often tan, impressive norks) and one's it will be shocked by and thus ban you for (breastfeeding norks and those post-cancer).

We have all shouted at them for a long time. At least with the likes of Instagram, all boobies, bouncy nice ones or one with babies attached have been an outright no.

So, finally Facebook have realised that all tits, for the titillation of teenage boys or those used to empower are all good actually. And of course, if you are going to have one's which are there just to perve over, bikini'd or otherwise, you are going to get grief should baby feeding offend you.

Hurrah!

Gratuitous Norks :)*

I loved breastfeeding, and I do feel its time it was celebrated for those who do it. Not of course to shove down the throats of those who choose not to, but it's a natural thing and its free and lovely.

Its tiring, of course, and when they get teeth, well, I think that has scarred me mentally and physically for life (at one point I felt I could put a ring through the marks Mini and her sharp little gnashers caused), but its not dirty and rude, and you certainly shouldn't be made to feel like you have to feed in a loo or be cast out of a shop for feeding your wee one.

Then we have story number two which always comes up and always makes me shake my fist.

Some boffins have decided that, after coming back to a set of children who were breastfed or otherwise 30 years ago, they have proof that the longer breastfeeding occurs then the more likely your child is to go on to get a good job and grades (and apparently, no doubt although not voiced, then join Mensa and be less likely to wear a tracksuit and go on Jezza Kyle).

For gawds sake.

Yes, whilst the people you happened to test oh wise boffins, have ended up with careers etc, there are other factors which aren't mentioned. Did they come from upper class backgrounds? Did they go to private school? Were they in a supportive and well off enough to send them through higher education family?

I was breastfed. I didn't go to Uni. I did OK at school but I went to a comprehensive and no doubt there were those who were brighter than me.

Mini was breastfed and she's about in the middle for her peers. She does really well at reading and writing, but she gets  a little intimidated by maths (like me. Nature I feel).

Littlest wasn't breastfed and despite having time off for illness that you'd think would put him at a disadvantage, he's doing exceptionally well and is above average on most subjects.

There is enough pressure on new parent's, especially Mum's to be superhuman. I was made to feel like a failure by a Nurse at Littlest's SCBU for failing to breastfeed. They never gave me medication which would have helped (which I've since found out about but knew nothing about at the time). At a time when I already felt like shit for in my view "failing" to protect him and birth him at  the regular 40 weeks, being made to feel like a double failure didn't help my confidence.

If you breastfeed, great stuff, no matter if you do it once and give up, if you do it for a few months, or a year. If you can't down to health or jobs or any other reasons, then there's no reason why these bloody boffins should make you feel like crap and like your little cherub will fail at life as you've failed to nurse.

I say, dear Boffins, how about concentrate on something worthwhile like curing diseases rather than kicking Mums for no good reason with so called "studies".

Kids are kids. Bring them up right, and they will thrive.

Now let's have an end to this stupid debate.

*Image courtesy of stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Can Blogging Ever Bring Happiness Or Are We Too Hard to Please?

Blogging, its a funny old hobby.

When I started in 2006, before twitter was even around, when MySpace ruled the internet, it was just a place to write and air your views, whatever these were.

It was very much like an old school diary but online where, if you chose, people could get a window into your life. Of course, you could lock other's out and keep it private, but I never saw the point of that- surely it was just simpler to write it on Wordpad?

I used to enjoy blogging a lot, if there was something on my mind, or a problem or a thought I wanted to share, I switched on my net, got it down on the page and pressed post. I have, and still have had, lots of support at hard times and at good times too.

As with anything though, blogging has become something massive. As Emma Freud told us at her keynote at Britmums Live earlier on in the year, we are the "new media" and journo's are keeping an eye on us.

We can break stories quicker than traditional print media can- that's why most newspapers are now online too. My local newspapers are among a group owned by Trinity Mirror which are about to close their paper edition in favor of going digital instead.

The issue is, as time has gone on, blogging has ceased to be simply a case of writing down your thoughts and posting them. Now, there is (self imposed in most cases) pressure to get those stats up sky high, to enter and be nominated in a host of awards. To make every list. To get a higher Moz Rank and Domain Authority and to employ the services of designers to keep your blog looking fresh. In most cases, blogs have ceased to look like blogs. They look like ad filled sites akin to major retailers and magazines.

That's no bad thing, but it certainly hits at the self esteem if you allow it.

And sadly, more and more, it doesn't matter what you do, helping other bloggers, making links for other's via Facebook Communities and the like, nothing can please anyone.

Family Panel is fast approaching it's 5th birthday, and back at the start I used to offer guest post review slots if a product I was asked to try didn't suit my family. I used to do this on twitter as a "first shout gets it" thing, which worked well. Until it got to the point in 2012 where I stopped as I was sick of the sulking that happened if someone got in too late. I got trolled so many times afterwards I just thought, well sod it. I didn't need the grief!

It seems that, now, something as simple as posting, without being paid, review and ad opps can cause all out drama and grief for the poor soul who simply wants to help out others in between housework and jobs. And don't even consider mentioning something fun, or your whole reason for breathing will be brought into question until you wonder why you bother.

As women- and yes, it is us girls responsible- we fail to stand with each other. We would rather bemoan everything that goes on, and question anyone who does better than you do.

There will always be the one's everyone tags as being a bit of a cow, who further themselves by belittling everyone else publicly. But we do give them ammo when the very Facebook communities they slate and eyebrow raise and  which can run happily and encourage blog help and support, turn into viper nests of resentment, anger, and feelings of "why do I bother?" from the admins.

It can be so different. Yes, its competitive, but a sense of healthy and friendly competition is actually good and can spur you on to do better yourself or to learn from others you admire. Support, not negativity for the sake of it.

It feels we are in danger of losing sight of the fact we can help each other out, we can look like a slick, happy community. We are also in danger of losing touch with some of our best and most helpful members forever as they become sick of the bitching and back biting and infighting.

Its also worth remembering that a number of SEO's and PRs are also bloggers and members of groups online too, so they see who is and isn't playing fair and behaving nicely.

We have reached an interesting cross roads with traditional blogging, where you either keep your blog as it is and write, or link up with vlogging and others forms of expression as well. It is hard for us old timers enough without having to referee yet another pointless and unnecessary spat.

Blogging can make you happy. It can do so much to improve your day from the usual boring round of chores and nappies and loneliness in some cases.

But, if you do need to rant, do it over the right things, and think before you bitch.

Don't Mention the C Word (Yet)

Why people?

Why is my sodding Facebook feed and my supermarket walk filled with the dreaded Christmas already?

I swear if the supermarkets get any earlier, we'll get the run up to Christmas type adverts from January 1st onwards.

I say dreaded about Christmas, but I do enjoy it, I just enjoy it from the correct time in December.

I don't even start thinking about presents until mid November. Yes I know there will be those of you who have already done all their shopping, and had it wrapped, and their cards written, probably since July. That isn't what Christmas is about.

 Christmas wouldn't be fun in our house if I hadn't left it up until the last minute every year since records began. The only year I was ahead was last year, and it felt weird having everything sorted so early on (by early on I mean mid October).

It should be a law in this country that, until after firework night (another custom hijacked so now you get 3 months of fireworks rather than one night as it should be), no shop is allowed to display anything containing the words "tis the season" or " ho ho ho", or hang anything remotely tinsel related, anywhere.

As soon as Mini brought home an Operation Christmas Child leaflet from school, she came home and stuck her Christmas list to the fridge. It brought me out in a rash. That and my purse hid in trepidation. I don't think she quite got that the child she was meant to sort out for Christmas was many countries away, not in her house.

Every advert break is met with choruses of "I want that" about every multi-coloured plastic tat that the toy companies chose to display. And you just know that, if you do give in and buy a selection of the tat, by Boxing Day most will be chucked in the toy box, and the choruses of "I want that" will begin all over again.

I don't mind planning the food, I don't even mind the hit my bank account takes.

But please, lets be sensible, and celebrate Christmas when it should be celebrated.

The Real Housewives Of Social Media

Yes, I know, I'm actually admitting my guilty secret here: I am addicted to watching Real Housewives on ITV2. It's not the best show to hold up to prove I'm not an airhead, but at least I haven't gone the whole hog and started watching Jeremy Kyle. I do watch Knots Landing though- it reminds me of when I was a kid and Nicollette Sheridan had her original face. 

The more I watch it though, the more I feel I could make a fortune pitching a version of the show based around blogging and social media.

Why? Well here we are:

The SchoolFeed App and Why It Can Bugger Off

School days are, according to the saying, meant to be the happiest days of your life. Its meant to signify that the carefree days of school are shortly replaced by bills, adult worries, job hunts and stinky nappies a plenty.


My take? Give me the adulthood slab of supposed misery cos school was pretty damn nowhere near as fun as it was held up to be for me.


Don't get me wrong, I do remember some bits fondly. I made some friends, like Nursey Natalie, Eskimosie Josie and Bestie Mate Zoe, to name a few. 
The issue I had was I was a bit (Understatement alert) of a geek, and instead of hiding in the library, I put myself out there for further torture by joining in with Athletic Club, Dance Club (and its subsequent shows for the whole school), School council and was a Prefect too. If there was something to join up to, I was always at the front of the queue like a 90s Patty Simcox, wielding a pen to put my name down for it.

Since When Did Rape Become a Source of Laughter?

OK people, now I know I said I was having a break, but my old friend Amazon has been at it again.


You may remember my last campaign to Boycott Amazon in November last year, when they felt it was completely reasonable to sell an offensive how to guide to Paedophilia. 

20SomethingMum Backs Dettol's Mission for Health Campaign!

You may have noticed on Facebook or Twitter recently that myself and a few of my fellow bloggers (including Me The Man and The Baby, Glowstars, Dance Without Sleeping (formerly New Mummy), Mum In The Madhouse and Adventures of an English Mum who just happened to have her lovey daughter with her too!) mentioning that we were off to London, and we were going to stop off at The Baby Show.

Well, that wasn't all we did whilst there- we fibbed a bit!

In fact, we met up in a house in leafy Highgate to find out all about Dettol's Mission For Health campaign.

Firstly, have a watch of this video of BBC Health Expert Dr Lisa Ackerley who will show you some of what we you what we learnt on the day:

Its simple really, but we're all guilty of health and hygiene crimes- perhaps you don't keep all your raw meats separate  from your cooked meats and veggies. Perhaps you don't always watch to make sure the kids are washing their hands properly. Or perhaps like me, you get sometimes get distracted half way through cutting raw chicken, and make a drink for the kids without first washing your hands? We've all done something which sounds obvious but in practice just doesn't spring to mind when the children are throwing their fiftieth tantrum of the day and we're tired and harassed!

With this in mind, Dettol’s Mission for Health launches today to promote a healthier environment in the home, in the community and beyond. Through three easy to get involved with initiatives- Dettol’s new mums programme, healthy habits lessons in schools and through its partnership with Save the Children, Dettol aims to educate from the home, to schools, and beyond that healthy habits are easy to keep up! 

Adventure's of an English Mum's daughter learns about hidden germs

At home, Mum's are encouraged to visit their easy to use and informative new website www.dettol.co.uk/missionforhealth  as well as "liking" their dedicated Facebook page www.facebook.com/missionforhealth. The tips and handy hits contained at both sites will help mums by suggesting ways to do more for a healthy home, highlighting hygiene hotspots to be aware of and useful tips to help take care of the family. Even things which when we heard them at the open day seemed so obvious, yet more than one of us admitted to being guilty of at home-like not keeping handbags on the table or kitchen worktop. Wont be doing that again soon!

Dr Lisa shows us the hidden germ hot spots around a kitchen

 

We also had the pleasure of meeting well known Health expert, Dr Dawn Harper, of channel 4’s ‘Embarrassing Bodies’ fame, who for once wasn't getting her hands in anything too scary, as well as Prima Baby’s expert midwife Nikki Khan. All gave us informative chats and advice from pregnancy and beyond, and taught us all about the dangers of germs and the effects they can have on our health, and that of our children too. They are all supporting the campaign, and will be giving the same practical advice on how mums can improve hygiene at home especially for those mums expecting or bringing home a new baby, requiring them to be especially vigilant in the home.

Prima Baby's Midwifery Expert Nikki Khan tells us about the effect of germs in pregnancy

For those who love a competition, The Mission for Health Facebook page will also offer the opportunity to win one of 5,000 Dettol Baby Packs containing useful tips on getting ‘your home baby ready’, helping new mums be extra vigilant in the home.  The pack also includes vouchers for money off Dettol Surface Cleanser Spray and Dettol No-Touch Hand Wash System.   

An even better excuse to like the Mission for Health Facebook page is that Dettol will donate 20 pence to Save the Children for every like they receive, with the aim of donate £20,000 to the charity which supports community causes in the UK and abroad.
 

Talking about family health, Dr Harper comments: “Mums are naturally eager to do their best for their family, to keep them happy and healthy.  But with our hectic lifestyles, standards may slip! How many of us mums know our kitchen floor or bathroom taps are not cleaned as often as we like? Even our computer keyboards could do with a good anti-bacterial wipe!”

“Dettol’s Mission for Health will help mums take back control, by suggesting quick and easy ways to keep their homes hygienic, helping to protect their family’s health and advising them on the tools to do it.  By going online they can find out information about hygiene hotspots in the home, and healthy living advice for the family and in particular first time mums.”

What better way to find information on keeping our children in a healthy environment than by turning off Twitter during our tea breaks and logging into the Dettol website instead?

  Want to join in? Well, here are some tips- they may seem obvious, but I bet we all slip up on them fro time to time-       

• Regularly disinfect commonly touched surfaces as some harmful germs can survive on surfaces for longer periods, which can then be transferred to other surfaces in sufficient numbers, representing a risk to catch them and develop an infection 
• Use a surface cleanser with proven efficacy to kill 99.9% of harmful germs including E.coli, Salmonella, MRSA and the flu virus  
• Practice good hand hygiene; wash hands regularly with an antibacterial hand wash and dry thoroughly.  
• If soap and water are not available, use a hand sanitizer. There are many gel and foam varieties available for use while out and about Practice good cough and sneezing etiquette - always cover your nose and mouth with a tissue and dispose of immediately 
• Avoid touching your mouth, nose and eyes with your hands. This will reduce your chances of getting infected  

Remember, if you follow these tips, your children will also learn good hygiene sense from you, like sneezing into a tissue and washing their hands regularly, helping to keep the message of Mission for health going for years to come.

To join Dettol’s Mission for Health or for more information come to www.dettol.co.uk/missionforhealth or go direct to www.facebook.com/missionforhealth to join!