Can Blogging Ever Bring Happiness Or Are We Too Hard to Please?

Blogging, its a funny old hobby.

When I started in 2006, before twitter was even around, when MySpace ruled the internet, it was just a place to write and air your views, whatever these were.

It was very much like an old school diary but online where, if you chose, people could get a window into your life. Of course, you could lock other's out and keep it private, but I never saw the point of that- surely it was just simpler to write it on Wordpad?

I used to enjoy blogging a lot, if there was something on my mind, or a problem or a thought I wanted to share, I switched on my net, got it down on the page and pressed post. I have, and still have had, lots of support at hard times and at good times too.

As with anything though, blogging has become something massive. As Emma Freud told us at her keynote at Britmums Live earlier on in the year, we are the "new media" and journo's are keeping an eye on us.

We can break stories quicker than traditional print media can- that's why most newspapers are now online too. My local newspapers are among a group owned by Trinity Mirror which are about to close their paper edition in favor of going digital instead.

The issue is, as time has gone on, blogging has ceased to be simply a case of writing down your thoughts and posting them. Now, there is (self imposed in most cases) pressure to get those stats up sky high, to enter and be nominated in a host of awards. To make every list. To get a higher Moz Rank and Domain Authority and to employ the services of designers to keep your blog looking fresh. In most cases, blogs have ceased to look like blogs. They look like ad filled sites akin to major retailers and magazines.

That's no bad thing, but it certainly hits at the self esteem if you allow it.

And sadly, more and more, it doesn't matter what you do, helping other bloggers, making links for other's via Facebook Communities and the like, nothing can please anyone.

Family Panel is fast approaching it's 5th birthday, and back at the start I used to offer guest post review slots if a product I was asked to try didn't suit my family. I used to do this on twitter as a "first shout gets it" thing, which worked well. Until it got to the point in 2012 where I stopped as I was sick of the sulking that happened if someone got in too late. I got trolled so many times afterwards I just thought, well sod it. I didn't need the grief!

It seems that, now, something as simple as posting, without being paid, review and ad opps can cause all out drama and grief for the poor soul who simply wants to help out others in between housework and jobs. And don't even consider mentioning something fun, or your whole reason for breathing will be brought into question until you wonder why you bother.

As women- and yes, it is us girls responsible- we fail to stand with each other. We would rather bemoan everything that goes on, and question anyone who does better than you do.

There will always be the one's everyone tags as being a bit of a cow, who further themselves by belittling everyone else publicly. But we do give them ammo when the very Facebook communities they slate and eyebrow raise and  which can run happily and encourage blog help and support, turn into viper nests of resentment, anger, and feelings of "why do I bother?" from the admins.

It can be so different. Yes, its competitive, but a sense of healthy and friendly competition is actually good and can spur you on to do better yourself or to learn from others you admire. Support, not negativity for the sake of it.

It feels we are in danger of losing sight of the fact we can help each other out, we can look like a slick, happy community. We are also in danger of losing touch with some of our best and most helpful members forever as they become sick of the bitching and back biting and infighting.

Its also worth remembering that a number of SEO's and PRs are also bloggers and members of groups online too, so they see who is and isn't playing fair and behaving nicely.

We have reached an interesting cross roads with traditional blogging, where you either keep your blog as it is and write, or link up with vlogging and others forms of expression as well. It is hard for us old timers enough without having to referee yet another pointless and unnecessary spat.

Blogging can make you happy. It can do so much to improve your day from the usual boring round of chores and nappies and loneliness in some cases.

But, if you do need to rant, do it over the right things, and think before you bitch.

Ambassadors Are They Spoiling Us? Well, No Actually.

As a blogger who has been reviewing and the like since 2009 (in fact January marks the 5th anniversary of Family Panel's launch, which is crazy), I've been part of lots of different schemes and brand link ups.

Some have been great, others, not so much.

In the beginning when brands and PRs first started to engage with the very small amount of us there were back then, we all learned how it could work together. It was easy back then to say what we liked and what we didn't like, how often we expected to engage with a brand and its programme and likewise PR's and Brands could tell us what they wanted to see in return.

Now, Ambassador programmes are everywhere, run by brands and, in some cases, third party groups who have sprung up offering blogger engagement and signing up as many bloggers as they can find to bump up their virtual address book.

In this third party and Brand race to sign up interested bloggers though, we have, all of us, created an issue with the quality of engagement and the ability to be mutually beneficial. This has left some feeling programmes are no longer for them, and are run from a one sided viewpoint weighing heavily towards only the Brands benefit.

I'm not going to name and shame here, and anyone reading this who blogs and reviews probably has a good idea of who they feel offer worthwhile engagement and who to avoid.

Blogger groups from Facebook and beyond offer the ideal place for writers to vent- and vent they do with gusto, telling each other who not to be bothered with and who is the most coveted to become involved with if your name gets passed to them.

Of course, what works for the vast amount of bloggers may not work for others.
On venting about one such third party group, I received a mixed response, with just as many agreeing with me as disagreeing.

Its true that as with anything in life, what works well for some will be a complete waste of time for others. Third Party Ambassador programmes are great for new bloggers or for bloggers just getting started in brand engagement. To more established bloggers, more used to doing things for themselves and not waiting in line to be contacted, they can be nothing more than a click through ad nuisance which takes up blog space which could be sold off for a real advert.

That's another problem with certain programmes. The "I'm a Member" badge.

Some programmes only ask you nicely to display the badge, but don't count you out for not. Others make it part of your sign up to display the badge and wont put you forward for opportunities if you refuse.

Which is fine, but what happens if you display this badge, offering an advert that you endorse this site (and which could normally be sold for Affiliate or direct marketing) and then receive nothing in return?

The same group I vented about asks that bloggers involved display the badge. Yet despite doing so for a year plus, I have not actually received anything in return for space which could have earned me actual cash. In fact, the first I knew the programme had actually started was during a chat about the wait for anything to happen with another blogger!

It turns out this third party, who made massive promises and who wanted me to join as they felt my being involved as a well known blogger would be great and persuade others to join too, have had days out, parties and adverts running through other blogs for months, not to mention reviews and brand engagement.

What have I had? One email. Nothing else.

What its worth remembering with third party groups is that the more of us that sign up, the better they look. It can be lucrative for those who are happy to set up a cheap website, and pretty easy to make cash doing so. The more of us they get to sign up, which is as simple as sending out a #BloggerRequest on Twitter for free, the better the return when it's time to contact brands who will pay to let someone take out the hassle of blogger engagement. Who wants to spend hours scouring the net for bloggers, rake through dead sites, or input lots of web addresses into a Page Rank checker when they can pay these third parties to do it for them (who, in turn, have already gained this info for free from the blogger on them signing up).

On contacting the Third Party to ask what gives, and why I have not got so much as a tweet from them,  did they apologise or offer to look into it? You'd think after the email I got from them asking me to get involved with them they would bend over backwards right?

Nope. They blamed me, saying my blog obviously wasn't quality enough for their clients and my stats are clearly rubbish.

It was pretty much a standard email too- saying I needed to bring my Page Rank up from low (mine is 3, which is pretty much great for a blog, and the average for bloggers who covert a decent number).

To me, I laughed and ditched the badge. But if it's not bad enough to swallow up as many bloggers as they can find, when they fail to come good on their promise to work with us all in equal measure they blame the blogger! And to some newer bloggers, this can, of course, make them wonder why they bother.

With many schemes, even those not run by a third party, many feel they grow tired of seeing the same old faces working with the brand and being lavished with gifts as promised to all  and grow disillusioned.

So, why do some programmes find it so hard to work with bloggers fairly? Have they got too big? And what would you like to see to bring them back to a fair for all, small scheme?

What programmes work for you and which don't? Or do you refuse to work with any at all? Let me know in the comments.

It's Not Like the Old Days....

I know that title makes me sound like a Granny, but it's the best way to put it without swearing, frankly.

My last post touched on how I feel, as someone who has been around for quite some time, that blogging is not what it was when I first started out back in 2006.

I didn't touch on what really peeves me about it, as I was trying to be polite, but after yesterday, the hell with that.

Yes, I do host and write sponsored posts. At the moment, like most families, times are tough, the budget is tight. We are moving as soon as we can, to a place where rents are far, far cheaper (we're talking thousand pound per month difference), and where the area is nicer despite the lower rents. Our town is a crap hole full of pretentious twats who love themselves far too much. Not all of them, I have met some amazing people who are down to earth, have no airs and graces and who are great folk to be around. But sadly, the above themselves idiots far outweigh them. Mini is miserable here, we all are.

So, any tiny bit of extra cash- and it is tiny, not enough to live on, not enough for a holiday every five minutes- goes into the deposit fund.

I always felt back between 2006 and 2010 that bloggers were a bunch who, despite a few arsehats, and every group big or small has a few, looked out for each other. If they'd had a bad experience online or in shops or with brands or PR folk (as we approached a time of change where money began to play a part and change things), we would mention it and most would sympathise, and campaign with us and retweet and such.

Not anymore.

I have done a few posts now, for different companies. You all know I'm no genius at html and the like, but I know when a post has a no follow or follow link, and when it has .html in the address its basically a html post. I also have great people in second command on Family Panel and friends who blog and are old skool in attitude who can have a look if someone is attempting to take the pee.

No one has ever had an issue with my blogs html, no one has ever come back and been as ignorant, unhelpful and rude as one person who I've been, well, basically ripped off by. I'm not the only person who has been ripped off either.

So, I decided to warn others not to approach. We need to stamp out piss takers, frankly, not big them up and allow others to fall into the same trap.

Or so you'd think.

All I got was "newer" bloggers, who I don't know (and after their attitude of "I'm alright Jack" I don't wish to), have a go at me for voicing my anger and annoyance at being conned. 

I got told off for swearing. In a group of adults. I mean, grow the hell up, right?

Half of these self absorbed, self appointed "Head teachers" patronising me have blogs which aren't of the caliber of some of us old timers and who clearly don't put the effort in. The sort which started as band wagon jumpers who found out they may score a free buggy so jumped in, but who don't do it for the real passion of writing.

Where has the support network gone?

No doubt a few will have run to this con artist non payer to bitch and whine and get their heads patted. I hope karma bites them and next time they try and extract the promised payment out of this person they get the same bull that I have.

Now, don't get me wrong, there are some great, utterly brill, new blogs or newer blogs who are actually worth reading, who yes, like me do get a few posts paid for but that's secondary to the love they have for their craft. Then there are those who when a friend voices disappointment at not being picked for an ambassador programme bitch about a free Vacuum they got and this person didn't. 

This is not what I signed up for. And it's not what a fair few others who remember how it used to be did either. I end up scoffing in disbelief most days at the attitude of some people. 

No doubt trolls will rear their sad act heads, but I have simply gotten sick of being a good little girl and keeping it to myself. 

Some of the new breed are the problem, not all but a big majority, with their selfish me me me attitudes. That is what has killed blogging. 

And I only hope they get bored and jump on the next fashionable bandwagon soon as.

Dear (Certain) Bloggers: Words to Remember.

Today's post is very short. 

If you have seen the hoo-haa over that blogger yet again belittling Parent Bloggers, you will know why this is here. If not, as you were, but remember it anyway for next time you want to make a snide comment.

If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.

Voila.

The Real Housewives Of Social Media

Yes, I know, I'm actually admitting my guilty secret here: I am addicted to watching Real Housewives on ITV2. It's not the best show to hold up to prove I'm not an airhead, but at least I haven't gone the whole hog and started watching Jeremy Kyle. I do watch Knots Landing though- it reminds me of when I was a kid and Nicollette Sheridan had her original face. 

The more I watch it though, the more I feel I could make a fortune pitching a version of the show based around blogging and social media.

Why? Well here we are:

How to Blog: One Easy Step to Blogging Happiness

It's not like me to blog twice in one day, so think yourselves lucky. And think yourself lucky I'm blogging this, not saying it to you personally, I so just yammed a garlic bread. 

Anyway, I digress.

The reason I am blogging again, in the same day, is down to another, yes, another, avoidable, daft and no doubt karma annoying "howling at the moon" episode in the world that we call blog (or Geeksville as I like to call it).

That age old superiority complex has reared it's ugly and no doubt well coiffured head again. It's not a surprise to some of us where this has come from, I'm not linking to it, I will just say " How to Lose Ticket Sales and Alienate People". 

So, what is the tip to blogging happiness?

The Annual "I Went to Britmums Live" Post- 2013 Edition

Wow guys!

I have to say, I have been to around 5 conferences over the years I've been blogging (at the first ever Britmums meet up at London Zoo, I only had one blog), from Cybermummy, to Blog Camp and then to Britmums Live. However, I have never, ever known one to be so, well, emotional.

I cried so much Saturday, I gave myself a stonking headache. I cried my darn make up off. (Apologies if I scared anyone).

I want to say though, it was OK to cry. It was what so many of us needed. Friend's of the never forgotten Kerry and Matilda-Mae. Those who had met them, those who had merely heard about their passing and felt empathy, emotion and feeling for their families.

The strength of support over the weekend, well, I do say sometimes that blogging can be a bit of a mindfield, friendship and angry moments wise, but not this weekend. We hugged, we laughed at certain bits. We were there for every single one of each other.

I have a few thank you's:

Spammers and the Residents of Anonoville

Don't worry, this isn't a howling at the moon episode in blogging response post, oh no.

Its in response to something I've been thinking about as a blogger for quite some time now, for different reasons.

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Comments to most bloggers are our life blood. I love them, I'm not going to lie, it is nice n my view to write something, have someone read it, and then take the time to write a little (or huge) comment. I know of bloggers, whose blogs I adore, who don't have comments on their blogs by choice. That's cool, but I think with the direction my blog seems to have gone in I'd feel strange not inviting people to comment their point of view.

The issue is with who comments. The anonymous ones.

Reviews: The Root of all Writing Evil?

OK, now I'm going to speak my mind here.


I review.


Not here- although if I'm paid I put my hand up I will post a sponsored piece here, but you'll know it's sponsored as I will tell you on the piece itself and I will warn you at Twitter and Facebook that you may not want to grace the page as the following piece I sold my writing soul for and was paid to write.


I'm paid not very much for these pieces. The money generally goes towards the bills in the house. The last time I did one was for Disney and the little bit I was paid, paid for Mini's school uniform.


I've reviewed stuff, big, small, cheap or otherwise, for about two years now. I remember the first time I was offered something- which I didn't get.


It was a very nice Buggy. I was chuffed as mine was third hand, but all our cash at that time went into moving from Gillingham to Maidenhead. I waited for a number of weeks, kept my side of things by tweeting about the company (and they were very well known).


Did I get the said buggy. No, I didn't. I know others did. I was disappointed for sure, but I chalked it up to experience and moved on. 


Back then, and it was way back, I was relatively new to the Mum stable of blogging. Things were different. I wasn't asked by aforementioned big name company for my stats (I wouldn't have known how to find them out. I was just chuffed with a comment). I had about 10 followers. I was amazed by that, and still love seeing a new face has decided to follow even now.


The next thing I was offered was by a fellow blogger who is also a PR. A bag of pasta shapes for kids. The excitement at being sent them was brilliant. I wrote about them honestly, just as I still do now, and was chuffed to have been asked.


I joined up for Great Toy Guide. Then I left and joined Mummy Reviews.


That was in December 2009. At that point, Brands and PR firms were falling over themselves to work with us green, easily pleased Mums. I'm not silly- I went into it knowing that we were free advertising. Yes, you get a product, most of the time we get to keep them, although that's not guaranteed. The only thing I've always said I couldn't give back is toys as it would be too upsetting for the Bratlings to have a toy then give it back. 


What you must remember though is these products don't cost to produce what we pay in the supermarket or online. They cost a fraction of that. I worked in enough shops and saw enough lists of products with cost price to the shop and the recommended retail price passed onto the consumer. 


Magazines will review products all the time. The difference is, the people who write about them are paid minimum wage plus for doing so. We're not.


January 2010 I started Family Panel. I honestly wanted to have a separate space for reviews from here at the blog as the first backlash over reviews had begun as the network grew. I thought I may be offered the odd item every few months at best. I signed up, after a tip from a blogger, to Response Source. I never thought I'd be approved being that I wasn't a serious media type.


The month before Family Panel went live, my inbox nearly exploded. I never accepted every pitch- if something didn't suit me, I'd offer it out to whoever wanted it on Twitter- I still do that now. I'm not going to be the greedy cow who gets offered a do in Manchester and cannot get there so just declines. What would be the point? There are always bloggers looking to make links with brands and PRs, as it's an ever growing pool and increasingly hard when another thousand mums have the same USP as you. I know of a fair few bloggers who review now who made links through me, which I've never charged for, not the Blogger, the PR or the brand, yet I know of a few high profile people who earn money by charging brands and PRs to link up with their list of bloggers. Some own up and are transparent, others keep it quiet. That's up to them, of course and I'm not knocking that.

More recently, quite a few Blogs have very obviously started up just to blag. I don't consider myself a blagger as I write very honestly about anything we review. I also very rarely go to Response Source now, as I know I'm on the books of many brands and PRs as someone who will help them out if I can, and pass it on to someone more suitable if I can't. 


My advice is always the same. Get established first. Get your numbers up, make yourself stand out (very hard but still possible). 


There have also been a few sites cropping up from bloggers in the "game" since I began. One has more or less nicked the name of my site. Do I complain- no. Its healthy competition. I love a reason to drive my site to make it the best.


It speaks for itself that, when I took a month off due to Littlest being ill, people stood by me. We've relaunched, quietly, this week. 


In this blogging lark, whether you review or not, there will be those who love your blog, those who hate it, and those who really couldn't give a frick either way. No one makes you read something. Its down to personal choice.


My response to Sorted PRs little "stunt" at Response Source? Well, for one I really hope they never email to engage me with one of their list (I looked, its not really aimed at Blogging Mums anyway). To me, it was a cynical publicity stunt for a small company. They don't care that they've been downright rude and offensive to women who constantly have to guard and talk against people like Sorted PR who don't see us all for what we are. 


We are great, frankly. It wont be the first time, it wont be the last.


It is getting boring, but oh well.


It'll be last weeks news soon enough.


And, just for the record, I've never had a holiday offered to me, I applied for Butlins and didn't get it. Their loss.

Internet Weirdness- Accept No Imitations

Its not my usual style to post twice in one day, but you'll soon realise why I have.


As you know, on Friday I was at Nursey sister's wedding. It was lovely, as you can see from picture's I've posted on Facebook and Twitpic, as well as today's Silent Sunday offering.

The Post Without a Title

Yeah, that's the post without a title. Couldn't think of one, so sorry, but there's a few topics I'm going to cover here, so couldn't really narrow the whole thing down. And since I'm writing this from scratch without planning it, well, yeah its that kind of post.


I was going to vlog it, but I couldn't be arsed really. I have a massive break out of spots at the moment- its not pretty wouldn't want to scare anyone.

Further More.......

Yes, well, it seems I had underestimated by a mile the mentalist behaviour of some in the blogging world. 

Turn the other cheek? In some circles not very likely.

Are There Rules to Blogging?

Hello, yes I have finally recovered from the MADS awards, and clutching my imaginary Best Blagger award from Sally at Whose the Mummy, I am going to write a bit of a serious post, for a change!

This has been inspired by a forum discussion at Blogger.Ed, whereby the terrifically funny Barenaked Mummy complained of being stuck in a blogging rut, and wasn't sure what to do. Should she risk posting a similar post to one from a few months back, or have a rest until inspiration strikes once more?

Which got me wondering:

Are there rules, written or otherwise, to blogging when being a parent blogger?

Now, if you are a fashion blogger, well, you'll always have something new to write about- who has worn what by whom this week, who made a tit of themselves wearing something awful, what's hot for next season. You get the idea.

If you are a Tech blogger, or a home wares blogger, or a religious blogger, well, there's always something new around to write your opinion on.

With Parent Blogging. Not so much new news.

It's double trouble with parent blogging. Not only do you have the issue that you may be repeating the same stuff that you said about your older child when your younger child does it. 

There's also the problem that even if you haven't written about it, then there are so many Parent Bloggers that you will inevitably rehash something one of your contemporaries has covered, if not several of them.

The topics in parent blogging are few- first the newborn stage of crying all night, of weight gains or losses, of annoying medical staff, or near death experiences when giving birth (and that's just those who plumped for a natural birth).

Then you have "the milestone years". The ones about talking, or lack of, then too much. The teeth posts. The wean posts. The waddles to steps posts.

Then its Potty Training. Be it a nightmare or not, its been covered with panache by well, The Potty Mummy. Or The Potty Diaries. How can you top their "built around poo" blogs?

Try as we might, we cannot find a topic which hasn't been done to death already.

And then we have the minefield that is Review Posts. (Queue dark disturbing horror theme tune).

Never has something divided the Blog world as much as the "to review or not to review" debate.

If you review, do you lack integrity? Are you just a blagger who blogs just for the material gain? Will you be sent out into the blogging wilderness, never to be read without scorn anywhere again?

Err, no.

On many occasions I have been accused, and not in a jokey way, of being a scammer, only out for free buggies, washing machines and vacuums. Well, yes, I have been given all three. But I have had to do actual writing for these- and have had the same emails asking me where my post is, why have I not tweeted it 20 times a minute, why did I not give it a 100% rating, on and on and on. In fact I very nearly lost my temper over the 5th draft that has been turned down this week. I didn't but, my, was I close to it. I may receive something, but if not looking in terms of what it costs in the shops, but what it costs to manufacture, its a pittance to what actual consumer journalists are paid.

Then, if you are new to it, and receive a shiny new product, only to find its absolute crap, what do you do? Do you say, well, its absolute crap. Or do you give it a shiny review (eg. Lie) so as not to be sent out into the blogging wilderness by the PR people or brands? Is there ever a case when honesty isn't the best policy?

Its often hard to keep everyone happy. Bloggers especially are a hard bunch to please. Even PRs aren't safe from ridicule. 

Send a mail shot saying they love your blog, but to 30 bloggers who all converse on Twitter, and no doubt your email, so well written and considered in the office when you wrote it, will be posted to disdainfully be mocked on a social network, and your name will be mud. Even if you are offering a really great thing, insult a blogger by getting a name or age of child wrong and that's it, you are blacklisted.

It may not seem more than a minor detail, but if you want to write an email with the starter of I love/consider yours one of the best/always read your blog, then getting a name wrong about a child written almost constantly in this blog is always going to cheapen the sentiment. And make you look like an arse. To a blogger, anyway. Do your research! Or get someone under you to do it for you and write a list.

Just think of it this way- if you were asked to market a pair of trainers, you wouldn't send out marketing to Saga magazine. Know your market, know that bloggers are, rightly or wrongly, a picky, finickity bunch. And they are this because they are doing this inbetween the ironing, the cooking and the washing. They do not receive minimum wage. They also have to sort the kids out as they type. They do not work a 9-5, they deserve respect. And if you don't show them it, well, you wont get much help from them. Get on the right side and you'll be passed on to other helpful parents. Get it wrong and you'll soon see your email discussed on Twitter. With lots of mocking or cross 3 letter acronyms.

Blogging. Whether you are the parent on the end of the PC, casually switching on CBeebies for ten minutes while you write another snot or poo or scraped knee post, or a PR who wants to make links, its never easy. 

But then, that's perfect. Cos whoever said that raising children was easy obviously had a nanny.....

Reviving My Faith in (Blogger) Humanity: Sign up for HONESTY

Yes, so, my Gallery Post and THINK message was firmly directed at the Blogger "Community" or to put it properly the Mummy Blogging one at least. 

I don't think I'd be the first to say I'm starting to feel disillusioned, and at one point this week, I decided that I no longer wanted the Mummy bit before the Blogger. I'm a writer. I love it. But sometimes I'm this close to quitting, which would be mental as its something I love doing. I hope that shows. 

I think we need to take, if not a step back, a long hard look at ourselves. We all have faults, and even feelings. At no point, regardless of perks, media coverage or desire to join every group to do with blogging "better" than anyone else. We should all look at each other equally. After all, isn't it better to help each other, share the wealth, talk highly of each other?

Image: Salvatore Vuono / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

There is something troubling me. 

I saw a Tweet, well, a Retweet actually. Apparently the BBC wants to do a "programme" featuring Mum Bloggers. 

Now, my first thought was Oh no.

Why?

(And no its not down to jealousy, malice or being an arsehole).

Its because at the moment I don't think we show ourselves in a good light. We have very public spats and spitefulness. And we all Follow or Tweet Celebs at one point or another. We all were in the room with The Sun newspaper at Cybermummy. 

So, whats to stop a clever little researchers portraying the chosen bloggers, and us as a whole unit, as a bunch of sniping, back stabbing, hormonal bints, intent on raining on each others parade, so to speak?

We haven't exactly already been shown in a great light, without appearing on TV.

BUT

Luckily, there is a place I have found that you can be honest.

Yes, honest. And no one threatens to kill off your blog. Or hints at doing that. Or just plain snipes behind your back.

So much so that some people tried to undermine it this weekend. Which frankly neither surprises me nor impresses me. 

I wish everyone felt they could just say if they aren't sure of something, or happy about something, without having to constantly question what effect it will have on their "position" in the group. Christ knows, I don't, I'm never afraid to say what I feel. If this has upset anyone at any point, then I apologise now.

But please, all you now, and anyone who you wish to let know. This little blog. See it as a haven. Need to say something? Then do so. Either email me with a post, or tweet me, whatever, I don't mind how. Never think that I don't want to help out. But feel free to air your views. 

I would love to think that at some point, I can hear about a documentary being in the pipeline, and not think what I think about this one. I really hope so. 

I'm posting a Linky here. Purely so if you feel how I do, and have a blog where you say what you feel, you can link to it here. Lets start a new school of thought, and re-introduce honesty, and friendship, and a right to reply.

Cheers guys x

Bitched, Bullied, Bribed and Banned: The Week Parent Blogging Should Hang It's Head Over.

Firstly, yes I know I said I had nothing to say. I feel its necessary to write this as a fellow Blogger has really been the target of a follow on of the anger and upset. And she had nothing to do with it, just felt it was unfair that a mass censoring had occurred, in her view, unfairly. She had no idea I had been banned. I don't actually think she even follows my blog. And its not someone as some people have suggested who is overly "matey" with me either.

It would also be disrespectful of me to answer the critics via her blogs comments page. There's a time and a place, and that's not the place.

It speaks for itself that the blog's author had respect for me enough to use a pseudonym. The piece was not written in support of me, or the opposing view. It was purely to say they disagreed with the censorship.

Right, now, I know a lot of questions, and an extended Chinese Whispers has been going on for a few days now, and, as is usual with that method, facts often become fiction, and people use it as an excuse for a bit of sensationalising.

Firstly, yes, I have been banned from British Mummy Bloggers.

For what, well, I'm still not sure. I'm led to believe two very different things from one very high up person. 

Firstly I was told it was due to my comments on a discussion. Apparently, my point, that us bloggers nominated had been made to feel guilty, and had effectively been bribed and bullied was completely unfair. I felt, and expressed that it was (under BMB rules) a better idea to take it up with Gurgle, rather than the constant and all consuming negativity that was hurled at us in not one, but two separate discussions.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but the Party aspect of Cybermummy was never mandatory. If that was the case, it would have been prudent to include the price of a hotel room in with the ticket. To me, until recently it was seen as optional for those with the luxury of being able to stay over night or living in London. I had never had the intention of staying on. I'm sure I am not the only one.

The second reason was due to a joke (and it was clearly a joke) I made on Twitter. I don't have the luxury of screen grabbing, but its here 

At no point was this written with names, blogs or on BMB itself. 

I reserve the right to make a joke outside of BMB (well, won't be hard to do that now!). 

The behaviour of certain bloggers is getting beyond a joke. 

A few comments written on the blog I mentioned say that the discussion became distressing, and worrying. 

I beg to differ, I think that the level of brown nosing within the network, and the fact that a member cannot crack a joke outside of it without the network watching your tweets is the most alarming. In my view, and the view of quite a few others, its becoming like a cult. They (the site owners)  have already revoked the rights of members to disagree with their views. They obviously monitor our actions and words outside of the group too and look to censor further. And its clear that there are those who find it impossible to think for themselves and have to comply with Big Brother (or should that be sister?), before making their own choices.

I for one, do not want to be a part of that.

So, if you ask, am I bothered about my banning.

Nope.

I was reliably informed that another blogger (who is well known for their bullying, and who has bullied me in the past) was also being banned. However, this was untrue. So why they are allowed to make comments purely to slyly put in a dig to me, at the expense of the feelings of other bloggers, I can't answer that one. 

I have been offered the opportunity to be reinstated. However I was told I would be monitored and had to apologise.

I would like it known I would rather eat my right arm and have it removed with a rusty saw first than give up my right to disagree with someone. However high up they are. 

My thoughts now?

Well, firstly, nice to know how many people actually want to meet me at Cybermummy and not just so they can bitch slap me! 

And on the whole thing?

I was censored because I made a valid point. I had tried and tried not to lose my temper for days. I had even had to question the rules which say we should support each other before those who wrote them and should have known better said well done over the Gurgle Affair. Us Gurgle Girlies have every right to go and enjoy our minute in the sun. The fact that people were bullied into not going, even being told they would be excluded from a raffle for going (after paying over eighty pound just for a ticket, and more for travel), is bribery and a disgrace. Its cynical to think that Gurgle wont get some advertising out of it. But to say that and have brands sponsoring an event and giveaway? Are we expected to believe that they are doing it out of the goodness of their heart then? 

The comment that worried me most? That as Gurgle were not part of "the network" (how cult like does that sound?) they were not to be trusted! They are a massive company, here before blogging, the internet and probably the computer itself! That's an alarming comment.

So, yep, I am no longer at BMB. Do I care? No. Was it fair? No.

Will I be going to Cybermummy? Hell yeah! Gurgle too? With bells on (and heels, so watch out if in front of me, may need to fall on you). 

Do I love you guys? Of bloody course! xxx

Cheers me dears. That is all x