Wednesday 18 March 2015

Is It Just Me: That Wants to See An End to Mum Shaming Over Breastfeeding.....

...And no, not just in the "I breastfed so I am better than you" sense of the word.

I will remind any tits that I have done both- one breastfed child for one whole year (Mini) and one not a hope down to being very premature (Littlest). Again, I can see both sides.

This morning, the press has been full of two breastfeeding related stories.

Firstly, Facebook, who for some time now has played some very double standards over boobie pics which they deemed acceptable (very nice, often tan, impressive norks) and one's it will be shocked by and thus ban you for (breastfeeding norks and those post-cancer).

We have all shouted at them for a long time. At least with the likes of Instagram, all boobies, bouncy nice ones or one with babies attached have been an outright no.

So, finally Facebook have realised that all tits, for the titillation of teenage boys or those used to empower are all good actually. And of course, if you are going to have one's which are there just to perve over, bikini'd or otherwise, you are going to get grief should baby feeding offend you.

Gratuitous Norks :)*

I loved breastfeeding, and I do feel its time it was celebrated for those who do it. Not of course to shove down the throats of those who choose not to, but it's a natural thing and its free and lovely.

Its tiring, of course, and when they get teeth, well, I think that has scarred me mentally and physically for life (at one point I felt I could put a ring through the marks Mini and her sharp little gnashers caused), but its not dirty and rude, and you certainly shouldn't be made to feel like you have to feed in a loo or be cast out of a shop for feeding your wee one.

Then we have story number two which always comes up and always makes me shake my fist.

Some boffins have decided that, after coming back to a set of children who were breastfed or otherwise 30 years ago, they have proof that the longer breastfeeding occurs then the more likely your child is to go on to get a good job and grades (and apparently, no doubt although not voiced, then join Mensa and be less likely to wear a tracksuit and go on Jezza Kyle).

For gawds sake.

Yes, whilst the people you happened to test oh wise boffins, have ended up with careers etc, there are other factors which aren't mentioned. Did they come from upper class backgrounds? Did they go to private school? Were they in a supportive and well off enough to send them through higher education family?

I was breastfed. I didn't go to Uni. I did OK at school but I went to a comprehensive and no doubt there were those who were brighter than me.

Mini was breastfed and she's about in the middle for her peers. She does really well at reading and writing, but she gets  a little intimidated by maths (like me. Nature I feel).

Littlest wasn't breastfed and despite having time off for illness that you'd think would put him at a disadvantage, he's doing exceptionally well and is above average on most subjects.

There is enough pressure on new parent's, especially Mum's to be superhuman. I was made to feel like a failure by a Nurse at Littlest's SCBU for failing to breastfeed. They never gave me medication which would have helped (which I've since found out about but knew nothing about at the time). At a time when I already felt like shit for in my view "failing" to protect him and birth him at  the regular 40 weeks, being made to feel like a double failure didn't help my confidence.

If you breastfeed, great stuff, no matter if you do it once and give up, if you do it for a few months, or a year. If you can't down to health or jobs or any other reasons, then there's no reason why these bloody boffins should make you feel like crap and like your little cherub will fail at life as you've failed to nurse.

I say, dear Boffins, how about concentrate on something worthwhile like curing diseases rather than kicking Mums for no good reason with so called "studies".

Kids are kids. Bring them up right, and they will thrive.

Now let's have an end to this stupid debate.

*Image courtesy of stockimages at

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