Tuesday, 3 June 2014

Moving, Vibrating and High Jinks in the New House

We have moved- Hurrah!

Its pretty mad to describe how good it feels to be out of the Craplords house after 4 long years of damp, rot and leaking roofs. For a start my purchases of extra strength sticky tape have gone down to zero now I no longer need to stick windows back in their frames.

It was like the last day of term the day we moved out, that's the closest I can come to summing it up. I was dancing round like a nutcase all day despite having wardrobes fall on me and losing quite a bit of furniture which we had assumed would fit but then didn't. 

Whilst I am now resigned to sleeping student style on my mattress on the floor (the bed base resolutely refused to come apart so was left, along with my white Expedit TV cabinet which fell apart), and I keep forgetting that I need to duck under the staircase, I'm pretty much in the happiest place I've been for some years.

Littlest was off back to school this morning- he got there in plenty of time, but minus Mini who has come down with a particularly nasty tummy bug- and routines have been slipped back into. We are adapting to a smaller home with not so much ease but gratitude for the fact it doesn't have black and yellow mould everywhere.

I like the new area, its quite boho in its way and you can tell its geared up to a student population, as despite it having about 15 different take away establishments and a launderette (handy as space dictated the removal of my tumbler) there is no Tesco or Sainsburys. I don't see that as an issue, in Maidenhead you cant move for local variations of these enterprises. Its nice to be able to pick up fresh milk from an independent person for a change.

Anyway, as the title suggests, there were some high jinks come moving day.

Now, I am an adult. As such, I have adult things which are hidden from the kids. About two years ago, Elder bought me, as a dare a, ahem, toy for adults.

He wanted to see my face when I opened it. It all harks back to a running joke we used to have about sending people who annoyed us a toy in the post to somewhere which would obviously cause maximum embarrassment. Yes, we are that childish, but not childish enough that we ever did it. 

I cannot touch the bloody thing though, as, due to a cock up (pun intended), its latex, which Elder forgot I am stupidly allergic to. So it has sat in the drawer ever since.

I had had thoughts of placing it in silly places (you know, glove box of the car, his man bag, stuff like that) but for fear of the Brats finding it I've never done so. 

Then we moved last week. And it was in the bottom drawer of our now shared chest of drawers along with my hair straighteners and other bits I am too much of a lazy cow to actually use. Its the drawer (or was- now we have to share the thing for clothing its my t-shirt drawer) that is the girl equivalent of a man drawer full of wires and bits of plug.

I casually mentioned to Elder that he should watch that drawer when moving it with his brother, as the toy was in its box, but it wouldn't fall out so don't worry.

Elder did worry though. He straight away worried that it would fall out, and with now his Brother and his youngest elder sister there (who'd chosen that moment to bring the Brats to their new home after a day out), he wanted to avoid such ribbing off his family.

Did he place it in a sensible place like a bread bin or a box? No. He didn't. He chose the stupidest place ever. His jeans pocket.

Except he turned the bugger on whilst he did so. 

And promptly couldn't work out how to turn it off.

It was in this predicament that I found him, large unexplained lump in his pocket and a buzzing noise coming from his jeans in the back of the van. I promptly fell about laughing, to his embarrassment and requests not to tell his brother or worse still his sister. 

Jokes on you Elder!

I have no idea where he has put it now, I have expect to go in my handbag at the local shop only for it to fall out in revenge for laughing until my guts hurt at him, standing in a lorry with it vibrating in his pocket. I didn't offer any help other than to move it to his back pocket to help ease his back pain.

What a way to move into the new house.

Anyway, how you all doing? 

Looking out for cyber attacks?

Hope you are all fine and unhacked by Buggers :)

1 comment:

  1. oh noooooo. I had to explain that one to the kids (3 and 5) the other day.. it involved "ask daddy when he gets home" by which time they had forgotten.


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