....But Then, It Got Even Worse

After the last post, I felt I should update a little.

Finally, after I wrote the post, I got a response from the Diocese about the fact they were, frankly, taking the piss.

You'll remember from the last post that I felt I'd been constantly misled over when our Appeal Pack had been sent. Well, I was right to feel that way. As, despite telling me for weeks, over and over again,that the paperwork was with those who needed it, they lied. They lied and lied time and again, as, actually, they didn't send it to the diocese until the 11th September.

I asked the woman I spoke to if she understood that the school had failed in its duty of care and had, deliberately I felt, misled me to think the Diocese was holding the appeal up. She told me, in a patronising way, that it was only a "minor issue" not worthy of concern!

Really!

For her maybe, but for us it was ridiculous. It was a  major concern. And quite rightly so considering the amount of time that elapsed between handing the papers in and them receiving them was over 2 months.

Again, considering all schools appeals should be done and dusted within 30 school days, it was beyond a joke.

I told her that, seeing as they seemed to care little for protocol, I would be forced to seek Legal Advice to ensure Littlest's educational needs and rights were met.

After hearing more crap, and by this point losing the will to live, I put the phone down. I can't be bothered to hear people if they clearly have no interest in being fair, and frankly, at this point, it felt like the whole appeal was a farce and a foregone conclusion.

At this point, I knew we'd fail the appeal. It wasn't being run for Littlest's benefit, it wasn't being run for the benefit of these countless other displaced, educationless kids. It was being run for the school to get their own way, regardless of the consequences.

This was further reinforced when, after finishing the call at midday, I went to pick Mini up from school.

I went from being a part of a "gang" who had invited me out to have a drink later in the week, to being ignored. I sat alone. To be honest, this bothers me not a bit, I'd rather have mates who are true and want to be friends as they like you, not so they can morph you into singing the school's praises, and not being negative (like when I asked for advice about appeals and was told off and threatened with expulsion from the group). 

As I sat there, one of the lying toad secretaries came out with a letter. Elder had asked to speak to the Head to ask why her staff had misled us over the appeal documents, but had not got a call back. So, when paper was shoved in my hand I thought it was to do with that. I didn't have my glasses on, so when she asked me to open it (despite it being addressed to both Elder and I) and sign a note to say I had received it, I declined. She kept on at me, but I firmly, but politely, told her I couldn't read it as I didn't have my specs! 

It was, suddenly, a date for Friday to have the appeal, at the school. 

So, after being told in the morning they couldn't hear it sooner, and wouldn't move it nearer, suddenly they could do both. I couldn't help thinking it was down to me saying I'd have to take legal advice. 

It also said the Head couldn't contact Elder as she was in a meeting from 3.15. Funny that, it seemed the misleading continued as she was happily walking round the playground from 3pm until when I left at 3.30.

I checked all the information I could get online, and actually the Oxford Diocese is very up to date with its site, so could see the appeal guidelines in black and white. If we or any party wanted to submit anything else it had to be done before the appeal, not during it. Any new information submitted would render the appeal adjourned.So, we updated our now two month old information, and waited.

On Friday, we went to the school. I had contacted Reading and Wokingham Councils to ask for advice. I was again told by Reading a place "may" be available for Littlest at the school in our catchment, the only one that is and one which I have heard horror story after horror story about. I didn't leave Kent to find a decent way of life and schooling to end up in the kind of school I'd moved to avoid. So, again, I declined. You'd think as a parent that would be that. Apparently not.

I felt less than confident, to be honest. Elder wasn't allowed in with me, as we had to bring Littlest. How they expected us not to when he has no school I will never know. 

The school Head argued that, despite it being fine for places now, from next year it wouldn't be OK. Despite most schools taking in up to 90 pupils for each year group, this school takes 70, under "duress".

Sorry, but that's ridiculous. We live in a country bursting at the seams, everyone needs to do their bit to get bums on seats. But not this school. 

They kept arguing a lack of space and how lunch times are a nightmare. They have to eat pack lunches in their classroom (what a shocker. I had to do this at both primary and secondary. So did Elder. And he left school in 1985). They have a field at the back of the school with a gate to it, but this is the councils (who lets them use it when they like). They have to use the church hall for certain things. The church hall that is literally a 1 minute walk from the school. 

They made no mention of the waste of space swimming pool they have sitting there, costing money. Not many normal schools have one, and they manage it. There is several Leisure Centres in Reading, in fact, there's one a 5 minute coach trip away- far nearer than at their previous school. Where they swam in winter, for the record. 

They didn't mention the wasted money on iPads. These things are a false economy in schools, they require costly apps, and they break easily. 

Was I allowed to say this though? No.

When I did get the chance to ask questions, one I asked was why they moan so much about  the free school meals initiative for lower school. After all, they were warned about it in advance, and every other school has to deal with it. But it was seen as asking a question relative to Littlest, as I said, surely, they could give parent's the option of taking children home for lunch, as I would happily do with Littlest. So they didn't answer it. 

It was at this point that the Head- who isn't, apparently just Head at this school but at several others (no idea how that works, in fact, it clearly explains the lack of admin skills of the secretaries)- came out and said she had new information.

Now, it states very clearly all parties must see all evidence before the appeal. We hadn't seen this new information (I still haven't), and nor had the Chair or other two people on the committee. Nor had the clark. It was just waved in the air by the Head, and she read it in a way to discredit me.

Did they adjourn as per the appeal rules? No they didn't.

She stated as fact that she spoke to the admin at our old school who was surprised Littlest wasn't at school in September. I had told them, and they'd agreed, that there was no way we could carry on from September. She also stated that I had declined a definite place from July at the pit school I didn't want him to go to. She grinned when she did it and was allowed to make me out to be a liar.

It was basically game over from there- I had known it anyway from the phone call with the Diocese who seemed to not care for rules or Littlest. But this, and the lack of adjournment, sealed it for me.

We phoned our old school, and they denied saying anything that made out they expected him in school, so she lied. No wonder she didn't hand it in.

I got to make my case. I spoke about how much Littlest has gone through. How when he and Mini are at school together, when things do go wrong with him medically, she keeps calmer than adults do- she's been brought up around his health needs. How we didn't plan on moving at short notice, and had looked and looked for affordable property in Maidenhead. But I knew it fell on deaf ears. They questioned me about the crap school in our catchment and I said, yes, I had told Reading that wasn't the school for Littlest. I told them that Reading had never seen any of Littlest's medical evidence and have never asked to. I told them that when I contacted the school, before we moved as I was trying to find places for them, they had had a sharp intake of breath and said someone would call me back when I mentioned Littlest's health needs. No one ever contacted me back. It would be a logistical nightmare to get two children to two different schools every day twice a day. It was alright to assume you can drop them on the side of a busy road, but you physically have to walk them in, wait for them to line up, and then, hope the teacher doesn't need to speak to you. And what if one has an assembly, a school trip, sports day? What if Littlest is ill? What if its raining? The damp is a bad thing for him. No way will it work.

Oh and to make matters worse, when I said one would have to be late to school and come home early, the Head narrowed her eyes and told me she would not allow this to happen, that the Welfare Education authority would be informed. So, she'd create a problem and then grass me up to make matters worse. What a bitch! 

I knew we'd lost. I knew. 

I tried my best, tried to show Littlest is a special case. They didn't even conduct the appeal as if he has any special needs. 

I was informed that a decision would take 5 days, but the Clark was very sure I'd hear sooner. 

Well, she would be, considering it took just an hour to email me a fully typed three page document. I can't prove it but it was pretty clear it was already written and waiting. They fobbed us off. 

Now, I'm told I do have a choice to not send him to the crap school, but if I make this choice, I will be sent to court and tried as a criminal, with people too lazy or non caring to send their child to school. 

What type of choice is that?

The Head even suggested we moved again in the appeal! The only thing other than that was to pay handsomely for Breakfast and Afterschool club for Mini, for what will amount to 20 minutes. They wont pay for this though, I have to, at around £100 a week. All because they refuse to see Littlest has needs and should be with someone who, rightly or wrongly, has become a comforting caring when he becomes unwell at school.

So, readers, what do we do next? I am stumped. I feel like my entire right to make decisions for my son have been revoked. I feel let down by a closed off, secretive system where rules are broken and nothing is done if it is in the interests of their diocese member. I fear that phonecalls and threats from outsiders who know nothing about us, or my son, are sure to come thick and fast. I don't even want Mini to be at our chosen school now, as clearly my card is marked. I dared question the precious church and precious head. I have been removed from the Facebook Group for trying to sell my ticket to a dance they having for families next week- sorry but I dont fancy it.  

Its cult like. 

And in the middle of all this is a child still sitting, with no work and nothing to do all day but wait for a resolution.

I have contacted our local Labour party, but I don't see what else I can do- even if I do try and take it to the Ombudsmen, it is still to do with the church, 

And that, that is the crux. You must not question the church. Or face the consequences. 

Earley, Erisea and Is It Just Me Goes Sindicated

Its been nearly two weeks since we moved to Earley and we are all settling in well. The whole school thing is still a giant pain in the arse (petrol usually costs us £20 a week. Last week, it cost £60), but we knew that was going to be the case so there's not much we can do.

I did ring the admissions people on Friday to check they'd had our forms, and they got them on the 27th. However, due to some old timey rules (clearly thought of prior to the invention of the bloody internet) whereby they feel schools still communicate via carrier pigeon, the form wasn't put onto the system for a week after as only school term days count within the 20 day period. Even if they find a school place they make you wait the full 20 days to hear about it, which will end up taking us until a week before school ends for the year down to it not being 20 days at all.

When I explained to the guy on the phone that Littlest missed school Friday as he was knackered, and the cost involved (at a time when I've just had to hand over a vast sum of money to move here), he was less than bothered or helpful. He sounded like the Computer Says No character from Little Britain. His helpful advice was to keep them off for the duration. Except he then helpfully (not) pointed out we'd be fined a ridiculous amount per day per child. 

Anyway, this aside the area is still great, cheaper shops, better quality of life. There seems to be a centre of the universe round here that is the local park. 

On Sunday there was a great live music Family Fun Day which ended at a sensible time of 6pm. We saw some brilliant live local bands there of all ages and types. Next weekend is a charity football tournament where local businesses and the uni have been encouraged to put teams together to celebrate the World Cup kicking off Reading style.

I'm finding we don't need to venture into Reading town centre either (which is good as parking there is crazy expensive) as what we need is on the doorstep or a 2 minute drive (when we don't get lost) to Morrisons and the outlet centres.

We have found some bloody ace second hand shops as well, there are 3 on our high street and one nearer to Morrisons where records are 85p each and they'll go out the back and find more if you ask nicely.

Next on the agenda is Erisea magazine, a new venture I am chuffed to be a part of with Chelsea Ms Mummy and Erika Holt. Its an online magazine that talks to you like a grown up, with a mixture of parenting, beauty and advice written by some top contributors.

I am over there with my "Is It Just Me" strand- don't worry, its not going from here! It'll still be here too but slightly more sweary versions will be over at Erisea, or things I feel don't fit here.

You can find my posts at Erisea at http://erisea-mag.com/is-it-just-me/

I'm now patiently waiting for the annual escape from the family expedition otherwise known as Britmums Live. I am actually bringing reliable tech this time so keep a look out for my instagrams and tweets and the like. 

Whatever you're up to, enjoy your week :)

Moving, Again, Yes Siree.

Bloody, bloody renting.

I hate it.

After 4 years of damp, disgraceful conditions and a toss pot of a Craplord, we are outta here on Wednesday.

Its a big move but not as big as we first thought it would be, as instead of having all out debate (read: swearing at each other and sulking until one of us got our way) over moving back to Kent (me) versus moving to Cornwall (Elder), we are moving to just outside of Reading instead.

I know that goes from one extreme to the other, but I found the house we are going to be renting online while eating lunch and lamenting we'd never find anywhere and end up in a flat forever. 

The Craplord surpassed himself up until then though, going so far as to lie to the court that we are behind in our rent whilst simultaneously writing us a letter saying we have never owed him rent. It was an attempt to get us out in a fortnight, which didn't work, and which the court suggested I contact the local fraud office over, but I really cannot be bothered and simply hope karma makes him disappear up his own backside shortly. 

The new house is smaller, but the Brats will still, thankfully have their own rooms. I wasn't looking forward to the pitch battles sharing would've have caused in two kids who have never ever shared a room. In our new village, house prices are the same for a 3 bed with garden near parks and schools as a two bed flat in Maidenhead.

We have no school as yet- the only minus side which is sure to organise itself over the next few months- as there are currently no spaces and as Mini is in Year 2 and about to sit exams they are reluctant to move her anyway. So, for now, we will have to commute them to their current school, its 15 minutes drive in non traffic, possibly half an hour in the morning due to rush hour. Not perfect but not much you can do bar end up being fined up to your neck.

As a result, I will be offline for a few days until the lovely TalkTalk come and reconnect me to the 21st century. 

Enjoy your half term guys! I'll report back on the move soon :)

What on Earth Are They teaching in School These Days?

I  am despairing of my children's education right now.

Mini is now in Year 1, and to be fair I kind of expected the "playing all day and generally not doing a lot" to be over. Except I now wonder what it is she actually does all day.

She brings home, most weeks, about 5 bits of homework. This includes a list of 6 words for a spelling test (and we're not talking two and three letter words, but 4, 5 and 6 letter words), a hand writing practice sheet, a maths sheet and a topic sheet- so whatever they are currently learning about in history or geography, they'll have a sheet or two on this. They also have a drawing activity, and another list of words the teacher wants them to memorise from them not quite sounding them out enough during guided reading. 

They have two books per week for Guided Reading (and woe betide you as a parent if you don't read one or the other every night), and a list of websites that you might like to look at too (again, woe betide you if you don't bother).

The holidays made me laugh. Each week, the homework book has the list of websites you can look at, plus a little message from the teacher to you. You also have to tick a box of whether you helped them a bit, a lot or not at all 
(although surely there should be a "I did it myself whilst my child watched Tree Fu Tom" box?). In the Half Term message, we were told how well the children had all done in term one, and how they all deserved a rest. 

It then went on to list the 7 pieces of homework to do in the holiday. What happened to having a rest?

What concerns me is not that they get this homework (although what is her teacher doing all day?) its the level of it. Half the time it's not even marked. 

I worry that Mini and her mates might be left behind. Don't get me wrong, she doesn't need a lot of help with her homework, its more to do with her feeling that she has been at school all day, its boring and now she wants to watch Brainiac instead, not do more work. Which is pretty much how I felt when I got homework (at secondary school, I hasten to add, not in the Infants), except I wanted to watch Grange Hill.

She had a whole year last year of "playing through learning". Or "playing on trikes and in sand boxes all day before coming home covered in paint" as I like to call it. They didn't do the whole sit down at a table and pick up a pen and write thing, so now, she can just about recognise certain words, she can have a go at writing them, and she is just starting to get the hang of reading, but spelling tests and joined up writing seems a step too far.

I was also quite surprised that the school decided to ignore both Children In Need (despite most kids in the country going to school in  their pajamas) and Remembrance Day, but they did learn about Diwali. 

Before you all do the "grr" face at me, its great that they learn about diverse cultures. I'd just that I'd also like her to learn about her own culture too. Bar learning about Guy Fawkes, they have covered Australia, China, India, and New Zealand up until now. 

It makes you question whether schools are almost afraid to cover Remembrance Sunday? Mini sat and listened as I told her in 5 year old friendly terms, why we all wear a poppy, and I read her a famous war poem too. She didn't get upset, she didn't have nightmares. She went off and wrote her own poem for Class News Time. Which her teacher then didn't let her read. 

Now, today, we have her looking through my cook books, and she asked if she could have some "real" fish, not "made fish by shops".

I tried hard not to but I did laugh. She thinks that only some fish comes from the sea or any form of water. She then thinks the shops "make" their version of fish for everyone else. I went to the trouble of planting a veggie patch in the summer after she told me she thought spuds and veg come from Tesco.

Is school all about playing and less about traditional learning? Does your 5 year old get homework and do you do it with them or for them?